Unconditional
Is it a word or a sentence?
Unconditional love means to love someone,
regardless of their qualities or actions.
complete, absolute, without reservations,
That’s how love should be.
It's the only way to live.
Pure joy and ecstasy,
is what love should be,
And not a metal ball and chain,
dragging your feet.
Constricting, restraining, and binding you.
Love should be encouraging you to,
go ahead and conquer the world.
Not become an obstacle in your,
path to success.
It should silently nudge you towards,
the culmination of your dreams.
There is only one way to love,
And that's unconditionally.
Rest all is a negotiation.
If you love me, you will bring me flowers,
If you love me, take me on a cruise.
What you should be saying is,
Because I love you, I understand.
I know where you’re coming from.
I support you, in whatever you want to do,
Because I Love You.
I am letting you go,
March to your own beat.
Listen to your heart,
Do what feels right to you.
I am with you every step of the way,
I Love You, Unconditionally.
Lucky
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
A lifetime of regret
On waking up in the mornings, I feel like going back to sleep.Opening my eyes hurts my soul.I remember that He is not around anymore and I don't like this emptiness.I don't know what our connection is,He is my father and I love him,but to feel like this is akin to abandonment. He has abandoned me and left me to fend for myself.His unconditional love is something I will miss forever.He loves me in spite of all my faults and not because of anything.I have lost a staunch supporter,ardent fan,mentor and a loving Dad.
Every morning it's the same story,I open my eyes and remember Him.A load lands on my chest with a resounding thud and I am breathless. I can hear the sound of crashing waves in my ears, I can't hear myself scream.
I have a wonderful family,but he is missing from my life, I just can't come to terms with this loss.I wanted Him to be there for me forever,I know it's selfish of me but I am a spoilt brat.He spoils me with his love and unabashed adoration,his total acceptance of me ,with all my flaws.I love him and I let him down.
He was admitted in the hospital on 2nd January 2010,He had called me up from there,He had said,"My eyes are peeled to the door because I've heard that you are coming to Bombay".And what did I do,I refused,I broke his heart.On 7th Jan He was discharged from the hospital,He had called me up in the evening and told me that He was very depressed, stressed,tired and weak.I didn't listen to what he was trying to tell me.I was too wrapped up in my upcoming Birthday celebrations.
On 8th January 2010 morning at 6am He called me up and wished me a happy birthday.He sounded upbeat,positive,happy and cheerful.we spoke at length and He told me He was felling wonderful,It was his last gift to me.He didn't want to spoil my birthday.It was an act,the same evening at 4pm He breathed his last.I let Him down,I am to blame,I broke his heart.I am guilty,I don't know what to do now.What do I do? It's too late......
Every morning it's the same story,I open my eyes and remember Him.A load lands on my chest with a resounding thud and I am breathless. I can hear the sound of crashing waves in my ears, I can't hear myself scream.
I have a wonderful family,but he is missing from my life, I just can't come to terms with this loss.I wanted Him to be there for me forever,I know it's selfish of me but I am a spoilt brat.He spoils me with his love and unabashed adoration,his total acceptance of me ,with all my flaws.I love him and I let him down.
He was admitted in the hospital on 2nd January 2010,He had called me up from there,He had said,"My eyes are peeled to the door because I've heard that you are coming to Bombay".And what did I do,I refused,I broke his heart.On 7th Jan He was discharged from the hospital,He had called me up in the evening and told me that He was very depressed, stressed,tired and weak.I didn't listen to what he was trying to tell me.I was too wrapped up in my upcoming Birthday celebrations.
On 8th January 2010 morning at 6am He called me up and wished me a happy birthday.He sounded upbeat,positive,happy and cheerful.we spoke at length and He told me He was felling wonderful,It was his last gift to me.He didn't want to spoil my birthday.It was an act,the same evening at 4pm He breathed his last.I let Him down,I am to blame,I broke his heart.I am guilty,I don't know what to do now.What do I do? It's too late......
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Some days are easy.....
some days are easy some aren't easy at all.
I try and smile,live a normal life,
but once in a while,I slip and fall.
Suddenly it hits me that you are no more,
you have left us and gone away.
This pain is so acute that I literally sway.
I reel with shock and disbelief,
at my easy acceptance of this great tragedy.
How come I survived,your going away?
Why didn't my heart stop beating,
when your's did?
Didn't I love you enough?
My love for you was all talk and no substance.
I am a hypocrite,
If I loved you enough,
I would have gone away with you.
I should have left too.
My friends say, you are watching over us,
are saddened by our grief.
and want us to be happy instead,
but isn't it asking for too much?
How can we smile,laugh n play?
when you have left us and gone away.
Why did you leave?
Why couldn't you stay?
I miss you every single day.
Lucky
I try and smile,live a normal life,
but once in a while,I slip and fall.
Suddenly it hits me that you are no more,
you have left us and gone away.
This pain is so acute that I literally sway.
I reel with shock and disbelief,
at my easy acceptance of this great tragedy.
How come I survived,your going away?
Why didn't my heart stop beating,
when your's did?
Didn't I love you enough?
My love for you was all talk and no substance.
I am a hypocrite,
If I loved you enough,
I would have gone away with you.
I should have left too.
My friends say, you are watching over us,
are saddened by our grief.
and want us to be happy instead,
but isn't it asking for too much?
How can we smile,laugh n play?
when you have left us and gone away.
Why did you leave?
Why couldn't you stay?
I miss you every single day.
Lucky
Last request
Remember me with a smile,after I am long gone.
When the sun has set, when the night has fallen,
maybe you can sometimes let the teardrops fall,
but only sometimes and that too not for long,
I want you to be happy and remember the good times,
think about me with a smile on your lips,
and please , please never be sad.
It will make me cry, wherever I am.
Don't hurt me by hurting yourself,
I'll feel your pain, wherever I am.
So what if I had to go away,
I am there with you in spirit.
Though I have left, I am never gone.
How can I? when my heart is with you.
You have my undying and eternal love,
to see you through all that life throws at you.
You are ,
my undreamt dream,
my unsung song,
my unlived life,
my unfinished thought,
my unglued emotion,
my uncrying tear,
my everything.
I love you, dear.
Lucky
When the sun has set, when the night has fallen,
maybe you can sometimes let the teardrops fall,
but only sometimes and that too not for long,
I want you to be happy and remember the good times,
think about me with a smile on your lips,
and please , please never be sad.
It will make me cry, wherever I am.
Don't hurt me by hurting yourself,
I'll feel your pain, wherever I am.
So what if I had to go away,
I am there with you in spirit.
Though I have left, I am never gone.
How can I? when my heart is with you.
You have my undying and eternal love,
to see you through all that life throws at you.
You are ,
my undreamt dream,
my unsung song,
my unlived life,
my unfinished thought,
my unglued emotion,
my uncrying tear,
my everything.
I love you, dear.
Lucky
Sunflower
The sunflower lived for the sun,
one look at the ball of fire and,
the flower opened up it's heart,
to embrace the warm rays ,
from it's lover ,the Sun.
Everyday, for as long as it lived,
the sunflower longed to be in the vicinity,
of it's heartthrob, the Sun.
It followed him throughout the day.
from East to West, it would sway,
as the Sun set, the flower would droop,
with dejection and heartbreak,
longing for the next day.
when it could blossom again.
Sun, mighty, powerful Sun,
unaware of the devotion of the flower,
decided to play hooky for a few days.
It didn't show up, it stayed away.
The sunflower clutched it's aching heart and
fell to the ground, with a moan and a sigh,
Unseeing eyes kept staring at the sky.
Lucky
one look at the ball of fire and,
the flower opened up it's heart,
to embrace the warm rays ,
from it's lover ,the Sun.
Everyday, for as long as it lived,
the sunflower longed to be in the vicinity,
of it's heartthrob, the Sun.
It followed him throughout the day.
from East to West, it would sway,
as the Sun set, the flower would droop,
with dejection and heartbreak,
longing for the next day.
when it could blossom again.
Sun, mighty, powerful Sun,
unaware of the devotion of the flower,
decided to play hooky for a few days.
It didn't show up, it stayed away.
The sunflower clutched it's aching heart and
fell to the ground, with a moan and a sigh,
Unseeing eyes kept staring at the sky.
Lucky
Until I get there
Today is 8th Dec 2010, it’s been exactly eleven months since you left me and went away, I still miss you. I had thought that I had healed, but was sadly mistaken. There hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t missed your loving presence in my life. Your memories keep me strong, your presence in my heart gives me hope to carry on and face anything in this world. Some days I fail to live up to your expectations and breakdown, can’t seem to go on without you.
I miss you so much dad. I haven’t forgotten you and never will, but what scares me is that I have learn t to live without you. Some days I am so happy, I sing and dance, it’s a betrayal of sorts. It’s at such moments that I question myself, I start doubting my love for you. I had thought I would die without you in my life, I didn’t, and I even started living normally again, how could I?
This morning I woke up early and glanced at my bedside table, there you were, smiling at me and blessing me. Your total acceptance of my behaviour undid me and I broke down. You are the reason I am surviving, you are guiding me, showing me the way to live happily. You chase away the fears and insecurities from my life and instead fill it with optimism, happiness and love. You haven’t gone away from my life but have become one with it and are always around, with me. Maybe that is why I don’t feel so sad most of the time, but some days I want to hug you and feel your arms around me, miss the cocoon of your sweet and unconditional love. Want your hand on my head, blessing me, to see your happy smile, hear you call out my name,” Lucks, my dear Looksy”.
Miss all this and more, want to hear you say,” I love you.” I know you will whisper it in my ear, but is it enough? Miss everything about you, I love you and always will. I had wanted to close my eyes and never open them again, had willed my heart to stop beating, when your heart had stopped. But you had given me hope and the strength to continue living. You always had my best interests at heart and were looking out for me even then. Sai babaji, please look after my dad and keep him safe until I get there.
Lucks
I miss you so much dad. I haven’t forgotten you and never will, but what scares me is that I have learn t to live without you. Some days I am so happy, I sing and dance, it’s a betrayal of sorts. It’s at such moments that I question myself, I start doubting my love for you. I had thought I would die without you in my life, I didn’t, and I even started living normally again, how could I?
This morning I woke up early and glanced at my bedside table, there you were, smiling at me and blessing me. Your total acceptance of my behaviour undid me and I broke down. You are the reason I am surviving, you are guiding me, showing me the way to live happily. You chase away the fears and insecurities from my life and instead fill it with optimism, happiness and love. You haven’t gone away from my life but have become one with it and are always around, with me. Maybe that is why I don’t feel so sad most of the time, but some days I want to hug you and feel your arms around me, miss the cocoon of your sweet and unconditional love. Want your hand on my head, blessing me, to see your happy smile, hear you call out my name,” Lucks, my dear Looksy”.
Miss all this and more, want to hear you say,” I love you.” I know you will whisper it in my ear, but is it enough? Miss everything about you, I love you and always will. I had wanted to close my eyes and never open them again, had willed my heart to stop beating, when your heart had stopped. But you had given me hope and the strength to continue living. You always had my best interests at heart and were looking out for me even then. Sai babaji, please look after my dad and keep him safe until I get there.
Lucks
Waiting
Waiting....
Unseeing eyes refusing to close,
even as the world tried its best.
From dawn to dusk, they stayed wide open,
vacantly staring into space.
slowly, a crowd gathered around the man,
who wouldn't close his eyes.
And bystanders whispered in hushed tones,
he looks like a devil in disguise.
Why are his eyes still open?
Why won't he close them?, they said.
Why does he stare so greedily,
Why doesn't he rest, now that he is dead?
He was waiting for his love, you see.
A little voice gently spoke.
And though she never did show up,
he never really lost hope.
His eyes are still open,
Coz he’s waiting to see her, just once again.
And though his heart has stopped beating,
his soul still willfully remains.
Lucks aka Sulekha
Unseeing eyes refusing to close,
even as the world tried its best.
From dawn to dusk, they stayed wide open,
vacantly staring into space.
slowly, a crowd gathered around the man,
who wouldn't close his eyes.
And bystanders whispered in hushed tones,
he looks like a devil in disguise.
Why are his eyes still open?
Why won't he close them?, they said.
Why does he stare so greedily,
Why doesn't he rest, now that he is dead?
He was waiting for his love, you see.
A little voice gently spoke.
And though she never did show up,
he never really lost hope.
His eyes are still open,
Coz he’s waiting to see her, just once again.
And though his heart has stopped beating,
his soul still willfully remains.
Lucks aka Sulekha
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