“(Referring to rape) It already is bigger than everything else. It lives in front of me, behind me, next to me, inside me every single day. My schedule is dictated by it, my habits by it, my music by it.”
Daisy Whitney (The Mockingbirds)”
We women are our own worst enemies…we demand equality with men; we want to be considered as equal to them. Why? What for? Women are never going to be as bad as men, we have always been better, smarter and also stronger (emotionally and physically) than men.
“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary”
Men have twisted minds and egos and to top it all even their chromosomes are confused whether to make them men or not, (x y), indecision is their mantra. They don’t know what they want, sometimes they want to be considered as the head of the family but during crunch time they blame others for their mistakes and look for scapegoats to lynch. Not all men are the same and it holds true for women too but generally it sticks. Men are cowards and believe in the herd mentality, as long as they are in a group, they act strong but catch a man alone in a corner and he backs down like a frightened mouse.
I am so cheesed off at this lowly race today and hence this scathing article. I woke up happy, on a bright and sunny Sunday morning and looked forward to a relaxed and chilled afternoon with a couple of beers under my belt and Sunday brunch with the family, but what do I see? The news headline screaming gang rape of 25-yr-old, in a moving car. The operative word here being “Gang rape”. Why is that every time you read about a rape, it’s a gang rape and if ever you read about a single man raping a girl, it’s a little , helpless child that he rapes. The 5 year old or 8 year old baby, who is in no way strong enough to fight back and defend herself from being brutally violated by the perverted beast in human disguise.
Men hunt in packs because they don’t have the guts to do it alone and they hunt women, the supposedly weaker sex, who cannot defend themselves from their attack. At least that’s what they claim that women are, weak. But the reality is totally different, women are strong and that’s why men lack the courage to assault them on their own. They always have two to three accomplices with them while perpetrating these kinds of attacks. Three to four men abduct a single woman and take turns raping her in the moving car or tempo or whichever vehicle they get their dirty hands on to commit this heinous crime. One brave and strong man holds a knife or gun to the weak woman’s head and watches while the other two brave men pin her down and the fourth brave man violates her. They take turns raping the woman; they should get a bravery award for their heroic act, on 26th January, bravo Men.
All those involved in this alleged gang rape are affluent people and not illiterate, ignorant people from the lower strata of society. About ten days back a high school girl was gang raped by three students of her institution in a car. In most of the cases the men outnumber the woman and overpower her by collective force. Then how can we say that men and women are equal and why should we say it? It takes three to four men to subdue a woman, who is the stronger sex here then?
It’s sad that in this day and age, women in our country are not safe venturing out of their homes at any time of the day or night. We live in the Capital of our country and women are not safe here, what about the other states and cities then? Young girls are picked up from the roads, walking to college or while going to the market, they are raped by groups of men and left off some place, with a warning.
There should be stricter laws for these kinds of crimes and the punishment should be swift, just and at par with the intensity and gravity of the crime. What these heartless men take away from these women is far more, than can ever be compensated by, any punishment, meted out to the offenders. They not only assault her body, they violate her mind, and something dies inside her at that moment. A part of her goes numb, she can never feel happiness ever again, and her mind never stops screaming out in helpless rage and shame. She dies a bit everyday for the rest of her life. Her soul continues bleeding ….. These men should be tried for multiple murders and hanged until death. They will still be getting off scot- free.
“I just want to sleep. A coma would be nice. Or amnesia. Anything. Just to get rid of this, these thoughts, whispers in my mind. Did he rape my head, too?”
Laurie Halse Anderson”
Lucks aka Sulekha
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Eternity
Roy’s Garage Sell and Auction: the daisy lemmas riff
Kriti-HowAboutThis: Eternity
I am eternity and I am patient…what lies beyond all three doors is incredibly beautiful and gratifying to the heart and soul, you can pick only one but do it fast before you lose your identity and become a part of me. If you look closely, you will see the gaping wounds on my self, there is blood oozing out of these wounds but it’s not red in color. I am so dark and mysterious that my blood has turned black, like the void…. fathomless, deep and dark.
Choose the middle door if you like socializing and partying, you will be in your element at the cocktail party. Discuss fashion and the city of lights and enjoy the delicate dishes prepared by the finest cooks of France. The door on your right will take you to the bloggers network and you will have the time of your life there with like minded intelligent and versatile people. You won’t regret your decision ever but if you choose the door on the left, your life will change forever, for eternity. Your soul will be enriched with heartbreaking poetry, soul stirring romantic quotes and stories and empowering ideas to better your life.
If you decide to come back, rest assured that I will be there to welcome you with wide open arms and embrace your soul and make you one with me. Together we will guide the travelers and warn them about the perils of staying too long with us, only the truly deserving get the honor of becoming eternity. Waiting to rescue the universe with bated breath...I am Eternity.
Kriti-HowAboutThis: Eternity
I am eternity and I am patient…what lies beyond all three doors is incredibly beautiful and gratifying to the heart and soul, you can pick only one but do it fast before you lose your identity and become a part of me. If you look closely, you will see the gaping wounds on my self, there is blood oozing out of these wounds but it’s not red in color. I am so dark and mysterious that my blood has turned black, like the void…. fathomless, deep and dark.
Choose the middle door if you like socializing and partying, you will be in your element at the cocktail party. Discuss fashion and the city of lights and enjoy the delicate dishes prepared by the finest cooks of France. The door on your right will take you to the bloggers network and you will have the time of your life there with like minded intelligent and versatile people. You won’t regret your decision ever but if you choose the door on the left, your life will change forever, for eternity. Your soul will be enriched with heartbreaking poetry, soul stirring romantic quotes and stories and empowering ideas to better your life.
If you decide to come back, rest assured that I will be there to welcome you with wide open arms and embrace your soul and make you one with me. Together we will guide the travelers and warn them about the perils of staying too long with us, only the truly deserving get the honor of becoming eternity. Waiting to rescue the universe with bated breath...I am Eternity.
Great love letters and Me
“Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours”
This is the concluding part of a love letter written by Beethoven to his beloved,the letters were found after Beethoven's death. They were not addressed to anybody, so it is impossible to know who he was writing to. Who was the mystery woman, he loved so dearly and hopelessly? We will never know but the beauty of his letters lingers on.
Why has this letter become so famous? Is it because it was found after his death and people were generous in their praise for the sentiments echoed in this beautiful note? Why do you feel a tug at your heartstrings when you read the helpless devotion dripping from this poignant letter?
I was inspired to write something along these lines and the result was not at all as expected, maybe after I die, people might say nice things about it. Here goes my attempt at becoming another Beethoven,
“My dearest,
Don’t become a memory of my past but remain a reality of my present and the certainty of my future. I need you to survive, to go on. Can’t even imagine living if you are not a part of my life now, in the moment. My breaths are connected with yours; my heartbeat is an echo of your heart. So please look after my most valued possession, be gentle with it, and tend to it with a lot of love. It’s very fragile and can break easily so please handle it with utmost care.
You color my world, spike up the mocktail of my mundane life and make it a cocktail of fun and adventure. You are the smiling rainbow on my teary sky of affection, my caring silver lining on the gloomy, sad clouds of separation and loneliness. You banish all heartache and pain from my silently sobbing heart and fill it with happiness and cheer. You do all this, with just a look towards me, a nod, and a simple hello. Your tender glance, caresses my frayed senses, I feel your love in your offhand, casual words and careless sentences. You show you care in so many different ways that I don’t feel the need to hear you say,” I Love you”. I know you do, a lot and I do too, darling, “I Love you”.
I don’t need flowers, chocolates or gifts of any kind. I just need to know that I am somewhere in your heart and always on your mind. It’s enough that a tiny corner of your heart is reserved only for me and a single tear is shed in my memory. I just want your soul, is it asking for too much??
You and I have a connection which cannot be described but felt so strongly that it scares me sometimes. You understand my every mood and get my emotional outpourings without even making any effort. I am like an unwound toy without you and even the slightest contact, be it long distance, makes me come alive. I can hear your heartbeat and sometimes can even feel your arms around me, especially when I am feeling heartbroken and sad.
Days merge into nights and then days again and I keep waiting for you to come and see me, my life keeps on passing me by as if I am on the outside , frozen in time, waiting for a glimpse of you to bring me to life.Wasted hours, days, months, years even ,without seeing you, hearing from you , terrible cruel times…. Why doesn’t the world let us meet?
I know, I don’t even come close to the great writer but I am getting there, will end my post with another bit of his soulful love letter,
“My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be -
Your faithful …..”
I Hope to be remembered, as a person so much in love, that it consumed her, devoured her and made her lose her sanity…..
Lucks aka Sulekha
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours”
This is the concluding part of a love letter written by Beethoven to his beloved,the letters were found after Beethoven's death. They were not addressed to anybody, so it is impossible to know who he was writing to. Who was the mystery woman, he loved so dearly and hopelessly? We will never know but the beauty of his letters lingers on.
Why has this letter become so famous? Is it because it was found after his death and people were generous in their praise for the sentiments echoed in this beautiful note? Why do you feel a tug at your heartstrings when you read the helpless devotion dripping from this poignant letter?
I was inspired to write something along these lines and the result was not at all as expected, maybe after I die, people might say nice things about it. Here goes my attempt at becoming another Beethoven,
“My dearest,
Don’t become a memory of my past but remain a reality of my present and the certainty of my future. I need you to survive, to go on. Can’t even imagine living if you are not a part of my life now, in the moment. My breaths are connected with yours; my heartbeat is an echo of your heart. So please look after my most valued possession, be gentle with it, and tend to it with a lot of love. It’s very fragile and can break easily so please handle it with utmost care.
You color my world, spike up the mocktail of my mundane life and make it a cocktail of fun and adventure. You are the smiling rainbow on my teary sky of affection, my caring silver lining on the gloomy, sad clouds of separation and loneliness. You banish all heartache and pain from my silently sobbing heart and fill it with happiness and cheer. You do all this, with just a look towards me, a nod, and a simple hello. Your tender glance, caresses my frayed senses, I feel your love in your offhand, casual words and careless sentences. You show you care in so many different ways that I don’t feel the need to hear you say,” I Love you”. I know you do, a lot and I do too, darling, “I Love you”.
I don’t need flowers, chocolates or gifts of any kind. I just need to know that I am somewhere in your heart and always on your mind. It’s enough that a tiny corner of your heart is reserved only for me and a single tear is shed in my memory. I just want your soul, is it asking for too much??
You and I have a connection which cannot be described but felt so strongly that it scares me sometimes. You understand my every mood and get my emotional outpourings without even making any effort. I am like an unwound toy without you and even the slightest contact, be it long distance, makes me come alive. I can hear your heartbeat and sometimes can even feel your arms around me, especially when I am feeling heartbroken and sad.
Days merge into nights and then days again and I keep waiting for you to come and see me, my life keeps on passing me by as if I am on the outside , frozen in time, waiting for a glimpse of you to bring me to life.Wasted hours, days, months, years even ,without seeing you, hearing from you , terrible cruel times…. Why doesn’t the world let us meet?
I know, I don’t even come close to the great writer but I am getting there, will end my post with another bit of his soulful love letter,
“My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be -
Your faithful …..”
I Hope to be remembered, as a person so much in love, that it consumed her, devoured her and made her lose her sanity…..
Lucks aka Sulekha
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Death becomes her
Death becomes her, they said,
Suits her pallor.
She was always hanging,
partly in the grave,
Was always half in.
had that melancholy look,
in her eyes,
which spoke of her heartache.
And was a walking obituary,
of a life gone awry.
Her heart had stopped beating eons ago,
But she had kept herself going,
with sheer will power.
Will to stay put and live and
not to give in to the grim reaper.
She had a life to live,
If not for herself then,
for her next of kith n kin.
She hid her tears behind a smile,
laughed so hard that her sobs drowned,
in the roar of thunderous applause,
of her family and friends.
They celebrated her zest for life,
unaware of her inner struggle.
They couldn’t hear her cries for help,
Coz she bit down hard on her lips,
to silence the screams.
She swallowed her tears and,
hid her fears.
camouflaged her emotions,
And pretended to smile,
through her struggling tears.
One fine day,
She came undone.
It took one unguarded moment,
to lose it all.
A single tear rolled down,
her ashen cheek,
A whimper of a sob escaped,
her bleeding lips.
She couldn’t bear to look at his,
retreating back.
Chose to close her eyes instead.
It was then that the world,
heard the crack.
It was the sound of her,
breaking heart.
She had become one with Death,
The long lost sister of her bleeding heart.
They embraced and became one,
Death becomes her, People said,
Death becomes her, they said.
Suits her pallor.
She was always hanging,
partly in the grave,
Was always half in.
had that melancholy look,
in her eyes,
which spoke of her heartache.
And was a walking obituary,
of a life gone awry.
Her heart had stopped beating eons ago,
But she had kept herself going,
with sheer will power.
Will to stay put and live and
not to give in to the grim reaper.
She had a life to live,
If not for herself then,
for her next of kith n kin.
She hid her tears behind a smile,
laughed so hard that her sobs drowned,
in the roar of thunderous applause,
of her family and friends.
They celebrated her zest for life,
unaware of her inner struggle.
They couldn’t hear her cries for help,
Coz she bit down hard on her lips,
to silence the screams.
She swallowed her tears and,
hid her fears.
camouflaged her emotions,
And pretended to smile,
through her struggling tears.
One fine day,
She came undone.
It took one unguarded moment,
to lose it all.
A single tear rolled down,
her ashen cheek,
A whimper of a sob escaped,
her bleeding lips.
She couldn’t bear to look at his,
retreating back.
Chose to close her eyes instead.
It was then that the world,
heard the crack.
It was the sound of her,
breaking heart.
She had become one with Death,
The long lost sister of her bleeding heart.
They embraced and became one,
Death becomes her, People said,
Death becomes her, they said.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
If I had only a few days to live…….
When you remember your past, you regret a lot of things that you did wrong. The stand you didn’t take, the choices you made, the wrong turns you took on the highway of life, and the missed opportunities. In your bid to please everyone else you were dishonest with yourself, to keep others happy, you made yourself miserable. When your heart was breaking you pretended all was fine, because you didn’t want to create a scene and embarrass him, who was responsible for it all.
What I don’t regret is the unselfish love I nurtured in my heart for him and the euphoria of first love. My undying devotion and unflinching faith in his capacity to love me, my blind adoration and mute adulation. I have loved and lived and seen it all. Been there, done that and am ready to move on But, there always is a but, I sometimes wonder what would have happened had I behaved in a different manner. Been more vocal about my feelings and less concerned with the society’s?
So many things, I would have done differently. I would have rebelled against all and visited my Dad when he had asked me to. Listened to my heart and not my head, done what felt right to me and to hell with society. Loved unconditionally and lived fearlessly. I think I will do it now, it’s not over yet.
What I don’t regret is the unselfish love I nurtured in my heart for him and the euphoria of first love. My undying devotion and unflinching faith in his capacity to love me, my blind adoration and mute adulation. I have loved and lived and seen it all. Been there, done that and am ready to move on But, there always is a but, I sometimes wonder what would have happened had I behaved in a different manner. Been more vocal about my feelings and less concerned with the society’s?
So many things, I would have done differently. I would have rebelled against all and visited my Dad when he had asked me to. Listened to my heart and not my head, done what felt right to me and to hell with society. Loved unconditionally and lived fearlessly. I think I will do it now, it’s not over yet.
Special Bond
The significance of a certain date,
Is lost on all but one.
He who understands you fully,
Knows you intimately
He who hurts with you
And feels your pain completely.
He knows that you are crying on the inside,
While fooling the whole world with your smile.
He sees through the fake smile and
Is there to wipe the tears,
And allay all your fears.
He always knows the right things to do
And the right words to say,
She wonders how he is there to catch her
When she falls?
Hold her hand when she is scared,
Console her when she is sad.
He remembers her fears,
Feels her pain
Makes her smile,
she forgets her heartache
And is happy for a while.
His sensitivity thrills her no end,
But with it brings a feeling of dread.
What if he stops caring?
What if he decides to walk away?
Who will mend her broken heart?
Who will hold her when they are apart?
Who will make her smile everyday?
God let him be with her,
Let him stay,
Please don’t make him go away.
Is lost on all but one.
He who understands you fully,
Knows you intimately
He who hurts with you
And feels your pain completely.
He knows that you are crying on the inside,
While fooling the whole world with your smile.
He sees through the fake smile and
Is there to wipe the tears,
And allay all your fears.
He always knows the right things to do
And the right words to say,
She wonders how he is there to catch her
When she falls?
Hold her hand when she is scared,
Console her when she is sad.
He remembers her fears,
Feels her pain
Makes her smile,
she forgets her heartache
And is happy for a while.
His sensitivity thrills her no end,
But with it brings a feeling of dread.
What if he stops caring?
What if he decides to walk away?
Who will mend her broken heart?
Who will hold her when they are apart?
Who will make her smile everyday?
God let him be with her,
Let him stay,
Please don’t make him go away.
Tragic tales of two little girls who suffered physical abuse at a young age…in one case it was a stranger and in the other, a relative…Makes me sick hearing about such twisted people in our society..
Why ME?
Why did he single me out?
Why did he come after me?
Why do you think he followed me home?
Why did he grope me?
Did I invite his advances?
Was I bad, was I flirty?
Did I give him the come hither look?
Or was I dirty?
I feel unwashed even after a thousand showers,
I feel unclean even after changing my clothes,
Countless times.
I feel dirty in a spotless dress,
I feel trapped in this claustrophobic,
Vastness of shame and hurt,
Grief and pain.
I feel nothing.
***************
He was the enemy within the four walls,
Of our home.
He was a guest, a friend
of the family.
He turned out to be a louse.
He abused our hospitality,
And committed a heinous crime,
He cut the roots of the tender plant,
before its prime.
My confidence was betrayed,
I feel let down and undone.
He is a monster, a molester,
A demon, a fiend,
An atrocious and pathetic excuse,
for a human being.
A heartless thing.
He will suffer, he will pay,
He will rue the day,
He took the innocence,
Of a little girl away.
He will suffer, he will pay
Why ME?
Why did he single me out?
Why did he come after me?
Why do you think he followed me home?
Why did he grope me?
Did I invite his advances?
Was I bad, was I flirty?
Did I give him the come hither look?
Or was I dirty?
I feel unwashed even after a thousand showers,
I feel unclean even after changing my clothes,
Countless times.
I feel dirty in a spotless dress,
I feel trapped in this claustrophobic,
Vastness of shame and hurt,
Grief and pain.
I feel nothing.
***************
He was the enemy within the four walls,
Of our home.
He was a guest, a friend
of the family.
He turned out to be a louse.
He abused our hospitality,
And committed a heinous crime,
He cut the roots of the tender plant,
before its prime.
My confidence was betrayed,
I feel let down and undone.
He is a monster, a molester,
A demon, a fiend,
An atrocious and pathetic excuse,
for a human being.
A heartless thing.
He will suffer, he will pay,
He will rue the day,
He took the innocence,
Of a little girl away.
He will suffer, he will pay
Will Embrace Life
When you walk into my life,
I will start to live, I promise.
Will no longer look at the world,
With a stranger’s indifferent eyes,
But will embrace it all like a,
long lost lover.
Your coming will put an end to,
my suffering and pain.
Will banish all grief from my heart,
The sight of your beloved face,
will thaw the frozen emotions
and make me want to live again.
I am living in a limbo since you left,
Unsure of the passage of time,
Surviving each day and night, barely,
Clutching at life by my fingertips.
My fragile hold on life slipping..
The frayed edges, of my mind,
Threaten to come undone.
Am holding it all together,
In the hope of seeing you arrive.
My eyes seek out yours,
In the sea of strangers.
I will start to live, I promise.
Will no longer look at the world,
With a stranger’s indifferent eyes,
But will embrace it all like a,
long lost lover.
Your coming will put an end to,
my suffering and pain.
Will banish all grief from my heart,
The sight of your beloved face,
will thaw the frozen emotions
and make me want to live again.
I am living in a limbo since you left,
Unsure of the passage of time,
Surviving each day and night, barely,
Clutching at life by my fingertips.
My fragile hold on life slipping..
The frayed edges, of my mind,
Threaten to come undone.
Am holding it all together,
In the hope of seeing you arrive.
My eyes seek out yours,
In the sea of strangers.
Friday, January 21, 2011
My Haven
There is a secret place in my rapidly beating heart,
Which is exclusively mine, my own private haven,
My personal retreat.
I am rejuvenated every time I visit here,
Life happens outside, but true life is in here.
I go through the motions of living life,
With a semblance of normalcy,
But I crave solitude to be able to visit here,
To really live.
I see you; feel you
breathe you, in here.
I remember your gentle touch,
The smell of your skin,
The sensuous look in your eyes,
Miss you so very much.
When things aren't going my way,
And life is being a pain, and when ,
I have no say in its wayward ways,
I visit my quiet place, close my eyes.
I see your smile embrace your soul,
Am revived , again I am whole,
For a while.
Wish I could live here forever.
Which is exclusively mine, my own private haven,
My personal retreat.
I am rejuvenated every time I visit here,
Life happens outside, but true life is in here.
I go through the motions of living life,
With a semblance of normalcy,
But I crave solitude to be able to visit here,
To really live.
I see you; feel you
breathe you, in here.
I remember your gentle touch,
The smell of your skin,
The sensuous look in your eyes,
Miss you so very much.
When things aren't going my way,
And life is being a pain, and when ,
I have no say in its wayward ways,
I visit my quiet place, close my eyes.
I see your smile embrace your soul,
Am revived , again I am whole,
For a while.
Wish I could live here forever.
You Unhinge Me
My feelings for you are unalterable,
Unaccompanied by fear of abandonment.
I am unafraid to show you I care,
And I am unarmed by your charm,
Unashamed, I blow kisses at you,
Unasked I miss you.
My love is unassailable.
You live in my unassuming heart,
Unbeknown to the world.
Unbidden your thoughts come to my mind,
Unblemished your memories.
Unborn desires drive me insane,
Unbound joy they give,
So uncanny is our bond.
Unconventional is our relationship,
Uncompromising in its intensity.
My undying devotion,
My unfailing admiration.
I am vindicated in my quest for love,
I am in a stupor.
You undo my heartstrings,
You UNHINGE me.
Unaccompanied by fear of abandonment.
I am unafraid to show you I care,
And I am unarmed by your charm,
Unashamed, I blow kisses at you,
Unasked I miss you.
My love is unassailable.
You live in my unassuming heart,
Unbeknown to the world.
Unbidden your thoughts come to my mind,
Unblemished your memories.
Unborn desires drive me insane,
Unbound joy they give,
So uncanny is our bond.
Unconventional is our relationship,
Uncompromising in its intensity.
My undying devotion,
My unfailing admiration.
I am vindicated in my quest for love,
I am in a stupor.
You undo my heartstrings,
You UNHINGE me.
Undue Credit
You give me undue credit by believing,
in my ability to remain sane in this
Insane world, without you.
Don't hold me in such high esteem,
don't think that I won't scream,
when the band-aid is,
ripped off my soul's wound.
.
I might have smiled,
while waving goodbye,
But had you looked closely,
You would have seen,
the heartbreak in my eyes.
Your silence cuts through my soul,
speak to me, make me whole.
Whenever I speak with you,
I open a vein,
You neither see the silent cries,
Nor hear the crimson tears.
Close your eyes and see me,
Breathe me in with your touch.
You'll miss me as such.
I, your proud strength,
You, my gentle touch.
Don't unclench my fists, when I die,
I am holding on to your promise,
of returning soon.
Let me leave with something,
that is totally mine,
“Hope”.
in my ability to remain sane in this
Insane world, without you.
Don't hold me in such high esteem,
don't think that I won't scream,
when the band-aid is,
ripped off my soul's wound.
.
I might have smiled,
while waving goodbye,
But had you looked closely,
You would have seen,
the heartbreak in my eyes.
Your silence cuts through my soul,
speak to me, make me whole.
Whenever I speak with you,
I open a vein,
You neither see the silent cries,
Nor hear the crimson tears.
Close your eyes and see me,
Breathe me in with your touch.
You'll miss me as such.
I, your proud strength,
You, my gentle touch.
Don't unclench my fists, when I die,
I am holding on to your promise,
of returning soon.
Let me leave with something,
that is totally mine,
“Hope”.
Closure
The door slammed shut deafeningly.
It wasn’t me; it was the heartless wind,
that pushed it close on life.
Helpless love was a mute spectator,
watching it crash onto the frame,
of expectations.
Loosening the hinges of hope.
Splinters of dreams flew about with,
the tattered remains of anguished cries.
I heave a sigh of relief,
looking at the cold closed door.
I know I should not be relieved,
at the finality of the deed.
But at least I am free,
To move on in life,
will not be glancing at the open door,
willing him to come inside.
Won’t have to keep wondering,
Whether he will come tonight,
or tomorrow or the next night.
The finality of this agonizing act,
has made me numb, my soul is hurting,
clutching at the lapels of hope.
I am jolted awake from a blissful sleep.
my eyes open to the complexity of life,
to the duality of the human psyche.
Though I am free, I am a prisoner still,
of lost hope, forgotten cherished memories,
of languor filled days,
and passion filled nights.
Of loves whisperings and furtive embraces,
Of honey scented breaths of lovers,
And their mingled sighs.
Sometimes I dream of my love,
Of his advent into my tumultuous life,
Of riding into the sunset with him,
Of being his day and night.
But the slamming of the door,
Jolts me back to reality.
I hear the slam,
I see the damage to the heart of the wall.
I don’t scream,
I don’t call,
I throw one last look at the door,
Over my shoulder and ,
I walk out tall….
Lucks aka Sulekha
It wasn’t me; it was the heartless wind,
that pushed it close on life.
Helpless love was a mute spectator,
watching it crash onto the frame,
of expectations.
Loosening the hinges of hope.
Splinters of dreams flew about with,
the tattered remains of anguished cries.
I heave a sigh of relief,
looking at the cold closed door.
I know I should not be relieved,
at the finality of the deed.
But at least I am free,
To move on in life,
will not be glancing at the open door,
willing him to come inside.
Won’t have to keep wondering,
Whether he will come tonight,
or tomorrow or the next night.
The finality of this agonizing act,
has made me numb, my soul is hurting,
clutching at the lapels of hope.
I am jolted awake from a blissful sleep.
my eyes open to the complexity of life,
to the duality of the human psyche.
Though I am free, I am a prisoner still,
of lost hope, forgotten cherished memories,
of languor filled days,
and passion filled nights.
Of loves whisperings and furtive embraces,
Of honey scented breaths of lovers,
And their mingled sighs.
Sometimes I dream of my love,
Of his advent into my tumultuous life,
Of riding into the sunset with him,
Of being his day and night.
But the slamming of the door,
Jolts me back to reality.
I hear the slam,
I see the damage to the heart of the wall.
I don’t scream,
I don’t call,
I throw one last look at the door,
Over my shoulder and ,
I walk out tall….
Lucks aka Sulekha
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Long live Cinema
“You complete me”, are the three golden words, every girl worth her salt longs to hear, uttered in her reverence. Jerry McGuire has immortalised love with this one line. I want a Jerry of my own, who doesn’t? But not everyone is as lucky as Dorothy or as blessed as Josephine March, of Little women. Not everybody gets her soulmate in her lifetime.
Love is the product of some very serious advertising and marketing by great filmmakers and writers. What is love? How does one know it is the real thing? Do bells ring and rainbows appear in the sky? I have grown up on a staple diet of Hindi movies. Every Sunday 3-6 show, without fail, for as long as I can remember. We are four siblings of the Ranyal clan and my parents had this tradition of sending us all off for the afternoon show every Sunday, come rain or shine.
I think our parents looked forward to these Sunday outings more than us, because it was the only time they got some privacy. So now when I look back at those afternoons I see a symbiotic relationship between us all.
The first movie I remember watching is Pakeezah.Chalo dildar chalo, for someone who was not brought up on this staple diet of Hindi movies, does not understand the extent of influence they exert over your life. The sensitivity and emotions, the expectations and longings are alien to them. When I had seen the train scene, in which Raj Kumar sees Meena Kumari’s feet and writes her a note saying,”Aaap ke paun bahut nazuk hain inhe zameen par mat rakhiyega maile ho jayenge”, had made me break out in goosebumps.I want a similar note. I need someone to have those kinds of feelings for my feet, for me, pour Moi.
Amar Prem’s “Pushpa I hate tears”, brings tears to my eyes, everytime I see a rerun of the movie. Aradhana, Rajesh Khanna’s entry, the background score is pure poetry. I can go on about my favourite scenes of all movies. Kabhie-Kabhie, Amitabh and Shashi Kapoor confrontation scene was mind-blowing. I had fallen in love with Shashi after this movie and Amitabh had gone down a few notches in my opinion.
In Mere Apne, Meena Kumari and Vinod Khanna’s relationship was memorable. Pearl Padamsee in Angoor was a hassled, worried single mom. Rajesh Khanna in Bawarchi, I had longed to live in the house with the dysfunctional family and a miracle worker bawarchi. Mili had made me cry a million tears. Kala Pathar, Amitabh-Rakhee, Yummy. Anand-Babu Moshaye.
My heart throbs ranged from Dharmendra, Rajesh Khanna, Vinod Khanna, Sanjay Khan.Amitabh, Rishi, Ranbir Kapoor.Rahul Khanna and my ultimate hero is Rahul Bose. I had wanted to be in Wayanad, on a treetop cabin with Rahul Bose in MR and MRS IYER.The scene when he goes to get coffee and on his return she puts her head on his shoulder, Freeze the moment. I had wanted Konkona Sen to run off with Rahul Bose in the movie. I had wanted to run off with him,period. In Hum Saath Saath Hain, Salman is my absolute favourite, Sonali and he, priceless.
If there is one movie, which I didn’t find realistic, it’s Baghban.I mean the director tried all possible tricks to make people sympathise with the old couple. But his storytelling skills lacked conviction. One cannot try too much to make a good film; one just does it without trying too hard. There are some directors who have got it, like Karan Johar.I cry every time I see” Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Gham”. Jaya Bhaduri and Shahrukh Khan are outstanding and their emotional bond is so real and poignant. I have loved all of Karan’s films. The latest movie “Dostana”, has found acceptance in our conservative Indian audience. Kudos to him for attempting to make a movie based on this bold and forbidden topic.
Raj in Jane tu ya Jane Na and Aditi, every girl dreams of a friend cum squeeze like him, who is there in sickness and health. In Bachana Ae Haseeno, Kunal Kapoor stole the show with his soulful eyes and acting. It was the highlight of the movie for me.
Does every girl get her Rahul, Raj, or Jerry McGuire? I don’t know and don’t care, what I do know is, for some, these reel life characters are more real than the ones, they come across in real life. Long live the Cinema. AMEN
Sulekha aka Lucky
“You complete me”, are the three golden words, every girl worth her salt longs to hear, uttered in her reverence. Jerry McGuire has immortalised love with this one line. I want a Jerry of my own, who doesn’t? But not everyone is as lucky as Dorothy or as blessed as Josephine March, of Little women. Not everybody gets her soulmate in her lifetime.
Love is the product of some very serious advertising and marketing by great filmmakers and writers. What is love? How does one know it is the real thing? Do bells ring and rainbows appear in the sky? I have grown up on a staple diet of Hindi movies. Every Sunday 3-6 show, without fail, for as long as I can remember. We are four siblings of the Ranyal clan and my parents had this tradition of sending us all off for the afternoon show every Sunday, come rain or shine.
I think our parents looked forward to these Sunday outings more than us, because it was the only time they got some privacy. So now when I look back at those afternoons I see a symbiotic relationship between us all.
The first movie I remember watching is Pakeezah.Chalo dildar chalo, for someone who was not brought up on this staple diet of Hindi movies, does not understand the extent of influence they exert over your life. The sensitivity and emotions, the expectations and longings are alien to them. When I had seen the train scene, in which Raj Kumar sees Meena Kumari’s feet and writes her a note saying,”Aaap ke paun bahut nazuk hain inhe zameen par mat rakhiyega maile ho jayenge”, had made me break out in goosebumps.I want a similar note. I need someone to have those kinds of feelings for my feet, for me, pour Moi.
Amar Prem’s “Pushpa I hate tears”, brings tears to my eyes, everytime I see a rerun of the movie. Aradhana, Rajesh Khanna’s entry, the background score is pure poetry. I can go on about my favourite scenes of all movies. Kabhie-Kabhie, Amitabh and Shashi Kapoor confrontation scene was mind-blowing. I had fallen in love with Shashi after this movie and Amitabh had gone down a few notches in my opinion.
In Mere Apne, Meena Kumari and Vinod Khanna’s relationship was memorable. Pearl Padamsee in Angoor was a hassled, worried single mom. Rajesh Khanna in Bawarchi, I had longed to live in the house with the dysfunctional family and a miracle worker bawarchi. Mili had made me cry a million tears. Kala Pathar, Amitabh-Rakhee, Yummy. Anand-Babu Moshaye.
My heart throbs ranged from Dharmendra, Rajesh Khanna, Vinod Khanna, Sanjay Khan.Amitabh, Rishi, Ranbir Kapoor.Rahul Khanna and my ultimate hero is Rahul Bose. I had wanted to be in Wayanad, on a treetop cabin with Rahul Bose in MR and MRS IYER.The scene when he goes to get coffee and on his return she puts her head on his shoulder, Freeze the moment. I had wanted Konkona Sen to run off with Rahul Bose in the movie. I had wanted to run off with him,period. In Hum Saath Saath Hain, Salman is my absolute favourite, Sonali and he, priceless.
If there is one movie, which I didn’t find realistic, it’s Baghban.I mean the director tried all possible tricks to make people sympathise with the old couple. But his storytelling skills lacked conviction. One cannot try too much to make a good film; one just does it without trying too hard. There are some directors who have got it, like Karan Johar.I cry every time I see” Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Gham”. Jaya Bhaduri and Shahrukh Khan are outstanding and their emotional bond is so real and poignant. I have loved all of Karan’s films. The latest movie “Dostana”, has found acceptance in our conservative Indian audience. Kudos to him for attempting to make a movie based on this bold and forbidden topic.
Raj in Jane tu ya Jane Na and Aditi, every girl dreams of a friend cum squeeze like him, who is there in sickness and health. In Bachana Ae Haseeno, Kunal Kapoor stole the show with his soulful eyes and acting. It was the highlight of the movie for me.
Does every girl get her Rahul, Raj, or Jerry McGuire? I don’t know and don’t care, what I do know is, for some, these reel life characters are more real than the ones, they come across in real life. Long live the Cinema. AMEN
Sulekha aka Lucky
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Friends make my day……..
Friends make my day……..
And we find at the end of a perfect day, the soul of a friend we’ve made.
Carrie Jacobs Bond
Friends make life worth living; hey don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that it’s an ordeal otherwise, but friends make the good, better and the better, best. What do I mean with this jumbled up explanation? Okay, imagine yo...u are eating a perfectly baked, delicious cake and someone walks up to you and hands you a bottle of home made heavenly, gooey, creamy chocolate sauce. Friends are the chocolate sauce on your yummy cake called, life.
There have been times in my life when, a smile from a stranger has made me forget my worries, for a little while and a hug has mended my achy breaky heart. Everyone goes through ups and downs in life and friends are the steadying factors. Friends can touch your heart even from a great distance, they can make you smile through your tears, make you feel better just by being there for you. If you are lucky, they may be within hugging distance, we need friends to make us believe in ourselves and to lend a helping hand, a shoulder to rest our weary heads on, when life is being a pain.
I am thankful to god for enriching my life by surrounding me with such loving and caring friends, I don’t think I could have survived all that life threw my way had it not been for the love and support of my friends. Some friends meet you everyday and help you cope with things while there are some friends that you meet once or twice a year but they play an equally important role in your tumultuous life. They bridge the distance with their thoughtful gestures and loving words of encouragement and what they lack in proximity, they make up with their intensity. I have all kinds of friends, close friends, near and dear ones and some long distance ones too.
My dear friend Rimly is the one who invited me to Ladies Club and changed my life. I am indebted to her for life; she is my soul-sister and a number 8 like me. We had met in Kochi, Kerala more than a decade ago and I can still remember her unique style of introducing herself, She had said,” hi, I am Rimly, Imly with a R, and I never forgot her name and the impish smile on her sweet angelic face. We were part of a voluntary organization in Kochi, another Ladies Club, and shared a lot of laughs, tears and treats. I loved her Mekhala Chadars and borrowed one for an Onam celebration at one time. Celebrated Diwali at her place, attended Navy Ball and various other dances, got drunk on many occasions, laughed cried and celebrated life. We were in the editorial team of our in-house magazine and worked together, editing, proof reading and formatting the articles. She taught me a lot about computers and encouraged me to write as well. She is a genuine friend and a great soul-sister to have in your corner. She encourages, defends, loves with abandon, love you my outlier.
And now for my dear Virtual friends.....
I am thankful to god for giving me the opportunity to meet and bond with such a great group of talented young ladies. It's online for now but I am sure we will meet some time in future, we were all meant to come into each others lives. I believe in destiny..
Kriti my Mitr, is awesome, there is no other word to describe her. I have put her on a pedestal and admire and respect her versatile personality. I love our chats daily and look forward to reading her comments and posts. She goes to any lengths to help a friend and She is a rocking Diva....
Swati, is an imp, smart, funny and adorable, love her sense of humour and intelligence.I enjoy her tweets on twitter, she is funny, sweet and sensational...
Chokher Bali, A hidden gem, super-sensitive,sweet, ridiculously intelligent, brave poetess. Multi-faceted to the core, she hides her creative side under the veneer of humour n flip remarks. She is a deep-thinker and a great friend to connect with. My day becomes brighter when I begin it with chatting with her.
Alpana, is out of this world, a great friend to have and a formidable opponent. I have borne the brunt of her wrath when I was procrastinating going for my thyroid biopsy. She has a heart of gold and is as guileless as a child. She is passionate about her family and friends, she writes beautifully, love her posts on her blog. She has called me up to yell at me at times and to lend support at other times. Love her caring nature.
Preetu, is yet another friend, I have yet to meet. We are from the same college Jaihind, Bombay but we never met there, I met her online last month. She is my dear friend's best friend, and is very sweet. she compliments my craziness, she is a great singer and a fantastic person, loving and caring. Her smiles, chocolates,hugs, she sends ,make my day. She has an uncanny ability to sense emotions and respond accordingly. The links to songs she sent me are proof of this. Love you bidu...
Have met so many lovely, super women here, Eva, Yoshay, Priyashmita,Dichen,Reshmi, Lavina, Nina,Rima, Mishtu, Denka to name a few....Please forgive me if I have missed out anyone.Love you all, sisters of my heart. You all Rock......
Lucks aka Sulekha
And we find at the end of a perfect day, the soul of a friend we’ve made.
Carrie Jacobs Bond
Friends make life worth living; hey don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that it’s an ordeal otherwise, but friends make the good, better and the better, best. What do I mean with this jumbled up explanation? Okay, imagine yo...u are eating a perfectly baked, delicious cake and someone walks up to you and hands you a bottle of home made heavenly, gooey, creamy chocolate sauce. Friends are the chocolate sauce on your yummy cake called, life.
There have been times in my life when, a smile from a stranger has made me forget my worries, for a little while and a hug has mended my achy breaky heart. Everyone goes through ups and downs in life and friends are the steadying factors. Friends can touch your heart even from a great distance, they can make you smile through your tears, make you feel better just by being there for you. If you are lucky, they may be within hugging distance, we need friends to make us believe in ourselves and to lend a helping hand, a shoulder to rest our weary heads on, when life is being a pain.
I am thankful to god for enriching my life by surrounding me with such loving and caring friends, I don’t think I could have survived all that life threw my way had it not been for the love and support of my friends. Some friends meet you everyday and help you cope with things while there are some friends that you meet once or twice a year but they play an equally important role in your tumultuous life. They bridge the distance with their thoughtful gestures and loving words of encouragement and what they lack in proximity, they make up with their intensity. I have all kinds of friends, close friends, near and dear ones and some long distance ones too.
My dear friend Rimly is the one who invited me to Ladies Club and changed my life. I am indebted to her for life; she is my soul-sister and a number 8 like me. We had met in Kochi, Kerala more than a decade ago and I can still remember her unique style of introducing herself, She had said,” hi, I am Rimly, Imly with a R, and I never forgot her name and the impish smile on her sweet angelic face. We were part of a voluntary organization in Kochi, another Ladies Club, and shared a lot of laughs, tears and treats. I loved her Mekhala Chadars and borrowed one for an Onam celebration at one time. Celebrated Diwali at her place, attended Navy Ball and various other dances, got drunk on many occasions, laughed cried and celebrated life. We were in the editorial team of our in-house magazine and worked together, editing, proof reading and formatting the articles. She taught me a lot about computers and encouraged me to write as well. She is a genuine friend and a great soul-sister to have in your corner. She encourages, defends, loves with abandon, love you my outlier.
And now for my dear Virtual friends.....
I am thankful to god for giving me the opportunity to meet and bond with such a great group of talented young ladies. It's online for now but I am sure we will meet some time in future, we were all meant to come into each others lives. I believe in destiny..
Kriti my Mitr, is awesome, there is no other word to describe her. I have put her on a pedestal and admire and respect her versatile personality. I love our chats daily and look forward to reading her comments and posts. She goes to any lengths to help a friend and She is a rocking Diva....
Swati, is an imp, smart, funny and adorable, love her sense of humour and intelligence.I enjoy her tweets on twitter, she is funny, sweet and sensational...
Chokher Bali, A hidden gem, super-sensitive,sweet, ridiculously intelligent, brave poetess. Multi-faceted to the core, she hides her creative side under the veneer of humour n flip remarks. She is a deep-thinker and a great friend to connect with. My day becomes brighter when I begin it with chatting with her.
Alpana, is out of this world, a great friend to have and a formidable opponent. I have borne the brunt of her wrath when I was procrastinating going for my thyroid biopsy. She has a heart of gold and is as guileless as a child. She is passionate about her family and friends, she writes beautifully, love her posts on her blog. She has called me up to yell at me at times and to lend support at other times. Love her caring nature.
Preetu, is yet another friend, I have yet to meet. We are from the same college Jaihind, Bombay but we never met there, I met her online last month. She is my dear friend's best friend, and is very sweet. she compliments my craziness, she is a great singer and a fantastic person, loving and caring. Her smiles, chocolates,hugs, she sends ,make my day. She has an uncanny ability to sense emotions and respond accordingly. The links to songs she sent me are proof of this. Love you bidu...
Have met so many lovely, super women here, Eva, Yoshay, Priyashmita,Dichen,Reshmi, Lavina, Nina,Rima, Mishtu, Denka to name a few....Please forgive me if I have missed out anyone.Love you all, sisters of my heart. You all Rock......
Lucks aka Sulekha
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Legacy
Legacy
Soon, a simple blood test to detect cancer
“BOSTON: A blood test so sensitive it can spot a single cancer cell lurking among a billion healthy ones is moving a step closer to being available at your doctor's office, with potentially revolutionary medical implications.
This is like a liquid biopsy" that avoids painful tissue sampling and may give a better way to monitor patients than periodic imaging scans, said Daniel Haber chief of Massachusetts General Hospital's cancer center and one of the test's inventors. “
The Times of India carried this piece of news on the first page today and I was elated on reading it! Though, my elation turned to disappointment by the time I finished reading this article. The reason for my dismay is that I have to undergo a needle biopsy of my thyroid gland. Although, the procedure itself is not very painful, the days preceding it stop just short of a complete nightmare. My sister-in-law and her husband, who are both doctors, making light of the situation, explained to me that it really is more painful giving a blood sample than getting the FNAC done. With due respect to their professional opinion, I beg to differ. It is the location of the thyroid gland that causes concern in the patient’s mind: You have to lie down with a pillow under your neck, exposing your neck, and a needle is inserted into the thyroid gland wherefrom the tissue sample is taken for the purpose of testing.
I have been suffering from hypothyroidism and thyroditis for the past 7 years and have undergone this procedure at least 7 times already, but each time, it’s equally terrifying. I think what the patient really fears is not the needle by itself, but also the possibility of the sample testing positive for malignancy. The C word is the most dreaded word in our minds nowadays, considering we hear about so many people succumbing to this disease. I have lost two great colleagues and friends to Cancer recently and they both were my age. May their souls rest in peace and their families find the strength to carry on…
It seems that I will have to undergo yet another old fashioned needle biopsy because the newspaper stated that, “Boston scientists who invented the test and health care giant ‘Johnson & Johnson’ are joining forces to bring it to market. Four big Cancer centres also will start studies using the experimental test this year.” But I have to get it done this month, I am sure it is merely a procedural formality, and like we all know, early detection can save lives.
I was seriously considering drawing up my will but then I realized that I don’t have any material goods to give away, my legacy is my thoughts, feelings and emotions , which are scattered all over the cyber world. When I am gone, I will live in these posts and articles. Read me when you think of me and say a little prayer for me…….God bless…..
P.s. I am not going anywhere for a long long time……. :)
Lucky aka Sulekha
Soon, a simple blood test to detect cancer
“BOSTON: A blood test so sensitive it can spot a single cancer cell lurking among a billion healthy ones is moving a step closer to being available at your doctor's office, with potentially revolutionary medical implications.
This is like a liquid biopsy" that avoids painful tissue sampling and may give a better way to monitor patients than periodic imaging scans, said Daniel Haber chief of Massachusetts General Hospital's cancer center and one of the test's inventors. “
The Times of India carried this piece of news on the first page today and I was elated on reading it! Though, my elation turned to disappointment by the time I finished reading this article. The reason for my dismay is that I have to undergo a needle biopsy of my thyroid gland. Although, the procedure itself is not very painful, the days preceding it stop just short of a complete nightmare. My sister-in-law and her husband, who are both doctors, making light of the situation, explained to me that it really is more painful giving a blood sample than getting the FNAC done. With due respect to their professional opinion, I beg to differ. It is the location of the thyroid gland that causes concern in the patient’s mind: You have to lie down with a pillow under your neck, exposing your neck, and a needle is inserted into the thyroid gland wherefrom the tissue sample is taken for the purpose of testing.
I have been suffering from hypothyroidism and thyroditis for the past 7 years and have undergone this procedure at least 7 times already, but each time, it’s equally terrifying. I think what the patient really fears is not the needle by itself, but also the possibility of the sample testing positive for malignancy. The C word is the most dreaded word in our minds nowadays, considering we hear about so many people succumbing to this disease. I have lost two great colleagues and friends to Cancer recently and they both were my age. May their souls rest in peace and their families find the strength to carry on…
It seems that I will have to undergo yet another old fashioned needle biopsy because the newspaper stated that, “Boston scientists who invented the test and health care giant ‘Johnson & Johnson’ are joining forces to bring it to market. Four big Cancer centres also will start studies using the experimental test this year.” But I have to get it done this month, I am sure it is merely a procedural formality, and like we all know, early detection can save lives.
I was seriously considering drawing up my will but then I realized that I don’t have any material goods to give away, my legacy is my thoughts, feelings and emotions , which are scattered all over the cyber world. When I am gone, I will live in these posts and articles. Read me when you think of me and say a little prayer for me…….God bless…..
P.s. I am not going anywhere for a long long time……. :)
Lucky aka Sulekha
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