Unconditional
Is it a word or a sentence?
Unconditional love means to love someone,
regardless of their qualities or actions.
complete, absolute, without reservations,
That’s how love should be.
It's the only way to live.
Pure joy and ecstasy,
is what love should be,
And not a metal ball and chain,
dragging your feet.
Constricting, restraining, and binding you.
Love should be encouraging you to,
go ahead and conquer the world.
Not become an obstacle in your,
path to success.
It should silently nudge you towards,
the culmination of your dreams.
There is only one way to love,
And that's unconditionally.
Rest all is a negotiation.
If you love me, you will bring me flowers,
If you love me, take me on a cruise.
What you should be saying is,
Because I love you, I understand.
I know where you’re coming from.
I support you, in whatever you want to do,
Because I Love You.
I am letting you go,
March to your own beat.
Listen to your heart,
Do what feels right to you.
I am with you every step of the way,
I Love You, Unconditionally.
Lucky
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
A lifetime of regret
On waking up in the mornings, I feel like going back to sleep.Opening my eyes hurts my soul.I remember that He is not around anymore and I don't like this emptiness.I don't know what our connection is,He is my father and I love him,but to feel like this is akin to abandonment. He has abandoned me and left me to fend for myself.His unconditional love is something I will miss forever.He loves me in spite of all my faults and not because of anything.I have lost a staunch supporter,ardent fan,mentor and a loving Dad.
Every morning it's the same story,I open my eyes and remember Him.A load lands on my chest with a resounding thud and I am breathless. I can hear the sound of crashing waves in my ears, I can't hear myself scream.
I have a wonderful family,but he is missing from my life, I just can't come to terms with this loss.I wanted Him to be there for me forever,I know it's selfish of me but I am a spoilt brat.He spoils me with his love and unabashed adoration,his total acceptance of me ,with all my flaws.I love him and I let him down.
He was admitted in the hospital on 2nd January 2010,He had called me up from there,He had said,"My eyes are peeled to the door because I've heard that you are coming to Bombay".And what did I do,I refused,I broke his heart.On 7th Jan He was discharged from the hospital,He had called me up in the evening and told me that He was very depressed, stressed,tired and weak.I didn't listen to what he was trying to tell me.I was too wrapped up in my upcoming Birthday celebrations.
On 8th January 2010 morning at 6am He called me up and wished me a happy birthday.He sounded upbeat,positive,happy and cheerful.we spoke at length and He told me He was felling wonderful,It was his last gift to me.He didn't want to spoil my birthday.It was an act,the same evening at 4pm He breathed his last.I let Him down,I am to blame,I broke his heart.I am guilty,I don't know what to do now.What do I do? It's too late......
Every morning it's the same story,I open my eyes and remember Him.A load lands on my chest with a resounding thud and I am breathless. I can hear the sound of crashing waves in my ears, I can't hear myself scream.
I have a wonderful family,but he is missing from my life, I just can't come to terms with this loss.I wanted Him to be there for me forever,I know it's selfish of me but I am a spoilt brat.He spoils me with his love and unabashed adoration,his total acceptance of me ,with all my flaws.I love him and I let him down.
He was admitted in the hospital on 2nd January 2010,He had called me up from there,He had said,"My eyes are peeled to the door because I've heard that you are coming to Bombay".And what did I do,I refused,I broke his heart.On 7th Jan He was discharged from the hospital,He had called me up in the evening and told me that He was very depressed, stressed,tired and weak.I didn't listen to what he was trying to tell me.I was too wrapped up in my upcoming Birthday celebrations.
On 8th January 2010 morning at 6am He called me up and wished me a happy birthday.He sounded upbeat,positive,happy and cheerful.we spoke at length and He told me He was felling wonderful,It was his last gift to me.He didn't want to spoil my birthday.It was an act,the same evening at 4pm He breathed his last.I let Him down,I am to blame,I broke his heart.I am guilty,I don't know what to do now.What do I do? It's too late......
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Some days are easy.....
some days are easy some aren't easy at all.
I try and smile,live a normal life,
but once in a while,I slip and fall.
Suddenly it hits me that you are no more,
you have left us and gone away.
This pain is so acute that I literally sway.
I reel with shock and disbelief,
at my easy acceptance of this great tragedy.
How come I survived,your going away?
Why didn't my heart stop beating,
when your's did?
Didn't I love you enough?
My love for you was all talk and no substance.
I am a hypocrite,
If I loved you enough,
I would have gone away with you.
I should have left too.
My friends say, you are watching over us,
are saddened by our grief.
and want us to be happy instead,
but isn't it asking for too much?
How can we smile,laugh n play?
when you have left us and gone away.
Why did you leave?
Why couldn't you stay?
I miss you every single day.
Lucky
I try and smile,live a normal life,
but once in a while,I slip and fall.
Suddenly it hits me that you are no more,
you have left us and gone away.
This pain is so acute that I literally sway.
I reel with shock and disbelief,
at my easy acceptance of this great tragedy.
How come I survived,your going away?
Why didn't my heart stop beating,
when your's did?
Didn't I love you enough?
My love for you was all talk and no substance.
I am a hypocrite,
If I loved you enough,
I would have gone away with you.
I should have left too.
My friends say, you are watching over us,
are saddened by our grief.
and want us to be happy instead,
but isn't it asking for too much?
How can we smile,laugh n play?
when you have left us and gone away.
Why did you leave?
Why couldn't you stay?
I miss you every single day.
Lucky
Last request
Remember me with a smile,after I am long gone.
When the sun has set, when the night has fallen,
maybe you can sometimes let the teardrops fall,
but only sometimes and that too not for long,
I want you to be happy and remember the good times,
think about me with a smile on your lips,
and please , please never be sad.
It will make me cry, wherever I am.
Don't hurt me by hurting yourself,
I'll feel your pain, wherever I am.
So what if I had to go away,
I am there with you in spirit.
Though I have left, I am never gone.
How can I? when my heart is with you.
You have my undying and eternal love,
to see you through all that life throws at you.
You are ,
my undreamt dream,
my unsung song,
my unlived life,
my unfinished thought,
my unglued emotion,
my uncrying tear,
my everything.
I love you, dear.
Lucky
When the sun has set, when the night has fallen,
maybe you can sometimes let the teardrops fall,
but only sometimes and that too not for long,
I want you to be happy and remember the good times,
think about me with a smile on your lips,
and please , please never be sad.
It will make me cry, wherever I am.
Don't hurt me by hurting yourself,
I'll feel your pain, wherever I am.
So what if I had to go away,
I am there with you in spirit.
Though I have left, I am never gone.
How can I? when my heart is with you.
You have my undying and eternal love,
to see you through all that life throws at you.
You are ,
my undreamt dream,
my unsung song,
my unlived life,
my unfinished thought,
my unglued emotion,
my uncrying tear,
my everything.
I love you, dear.
Lucky
Sunflower
The sunflower lived for the sun,
one look at the ball of fire and,
the flower opened up it's heart,
to embrace the warm rays ,
from it's lover ,the Sun.
Everyday, for as long as it lived,
the sunflower longed to be in the vicinity,
of it's heartthrob, the Sun.
It followed him throughout the day.
from East to West, it would sway,
as the Sun set, the flower would droop,
with dejection and heartbreak,
longing for the next day.
when it could blossom again.
Sun, mighty, powerful Sun,
unaware of the devotion of the flower,
decided to play hooky for a few days.
It didn't show up, it stayed away.
The sunflower clutched it's aching heart and
fell to the ground, with a moan and a sigh,
Unseeing eyes kept staring at the sky.
Lucky
one look at the ball of fire and,
the flower opened up it's heart,
to embrace the warm rays ,
from it's lover ,the Sun.
Everyday, for as long as it lived,
the sunflower longed to be in the vicinity,
of it's heartthrob, the Sun.
It followed him throughout the day.
from East to West, it would sway,
as the Sun set, the flower would droop,
with dejection and heartbreak,
longing for the next day.
when it could blossom again.
Sun, mighty, powerful Sun,
unaware of the devotion of the flower,
decided to play hooky for a few days.
It didn't show up, it stayed away.
The sunflower clutched it's aching heart and
fell to the ground, with a moan and a sigh,
Unseeing eyes kept staring at the sky.
Lucky
Until I get there
Today is 8th Dec 2010, it’s been exactly eleven months since you left me and went away, I still miss you. I had thought that I had healed, but was sadly mistaken. There hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t missed your loving presence in my life. Your memories keep me strong, your presence in my heart gives me hope to carry on and face anything in this world. Some days I fail to live up to your expectations and breakdown, can’t seem to go on without you.
I miss you so much dad. I haven’t forgotten you and never will, but what scares me is that I have learn t to live without you. Some days I am so happy, I sing and dance, it’s a betrayal of sorts. It’s at such moments that I question myself, I start doubting my love for you. I had thought I would die without you in my life, I didn’t, and I even started living normally again, how could I?
This morning I woke up early and glanced at my bedside table, there you were, smiling at me and blessing me. Your total acceptance of my behaviour undid me and I broke down. You are the reason I am surviving, you are guiding me, showing me the way to live happily. You chase away the fears and insecurities from my life and instead fill it with optimism, happiness and love. You haven’t gone away from my life but have become one with it and are always around, with me. Maybe that is why I don’t feel so sad most of the time, but some days I want to hug you and feel your arms around me, miss the cocoon of your sweet and unconditional love. Want your hand on my head, blessing me, to see your happy smile, hear you call out my name,” Lucks, my dear Looksy”.
Miss all this and more, want to hear you say,” I love you.” I know you will whisper it in my ear, but is it enough? Miss everything about you, I love you and always will. I had wanted to close my eyes and never open them again, had willed my heart to stop beating, when your heart had stopped. But you had given me hope and the strength to continue living. You always had my best interests at heart and were looking out for me even then. Sai babaji, please look after my dad and keep him safe until I get there.
Lucks
I miss you so much dad. I haven’t forgotten you and never will, but what scares me is that I have learn t to live without you. Some days I am so happy, I sing and dance, it’s a betrayal of sorts. It’s at such moments that I question myself, I start doubting my love for you. I had thought I would die without you in my life, I didn’t, and I even started living normally again, how could I?
This morning I woke up early and glanced at my bedside table, there you were, smiling at me and blessing me. Your total acceptance of my behaviour undid me and I broke down. You are the reason I am surviving, you are guiding me, showing me the way to live happily. You chase away the fears and insecurities from my life and instead fill it with optimism, happiness and love. You haven’t gone away from my life but have become one with it and are always around, with me. Maybe that is why I don’t feel so sad most of the time, but some days I want to hug you and feel your arms around me, miss the cocoon of your sweet and unconditional love. Want your hand on my head, blessing me, to see your happy smile, hear you call out my name,” Lucks, my dear Looksy”.
Miss all this and more, want to hear you say,” I love you.” I know you will whisper it in my ear, but is it enough? Miss everything about you, I love you and always will. I had wanted to close my eyes and never open them again, had willed my heart to stop beating, when your heart had stopped. But you had given me hope and the strength to continue living. You always had my best interests at heart and were looking out for me even then. Sai babaji, please look after my dad and keep him safe until I get there.
Lucks
Waiting
Waiting....
Unseeing eyes refusing to close,
even as the world tried its best.
From dawn to dusk, they stayed wide open,
vacantly staring into space.
slowly, a crowd gathered around the man,
who wouldn't close his eyes.
And bystanders whispered in hushed tones,
he looks like a devil in disguise.
Why are his eyes still open?
Why won't he close them?, they said.
Why does he stare so greedily,
Why doesn't he rest, now that he is dead?
He was waiting for his love, you see.
A little voice gently spoke.
And though she never did show up,
he never really lost hope.
His eyes are still open,
Coz he’s waiting to see her, just once again.
And though his heart has stopped beating,
his soul still willfully remains.
Lucks aka Sulekha
Unseeing eyes refusing to close,
even as the world tried its best.
From dawn to dusk, they stayed wide open,
vacantly staring into space.
slowly, a crowd gathered around the man,
who wouldn't close his eyes.
And bystanders whispered in hushed tones,
he looks like a devil in disguise.
Why are his eyes still open?
Why won't he close them?, they said.
Why does he stare so greedily,
Why doesn't he rest, now that he is dead?
He was waiting for his love, you see.
A little voice gently spoke.
And though she never did show up,
he never really lost hope.
His eyes are still open,
Coz he’s waiting to see her, just once again.
And though his heart has stopped beating,
his soul still willfully remains.
Lucks aka Sulekha
Cemetery
Cemetery
She cremated her dreams today,
The tombstone reads,
"Here lie the misbegotten misadventures,
she called "Dreams",
they lie buried under six feet of,
Shattered hopes, spurned emotions,
crushed feelings and unrequited love."
Her yearning lies scattered on the ground,
mixed with the loose soil and the blossoms,
shards of her longing are sprinkled,
beside her grave on the bed of roses.
She had sacrificed her sanity for love,
and she was punished for this sacrilege.
No it wasn't God, who did it,
It was HE, his indifference that did her in.
The fabric of her make-believe world was,
slashed by the cruel blade of harsh reality.
She had solicited his affections,
had dived head-on in the whirlpool of love,
She was punished for her willful conduct,
her dreams slaughtered by the thoughtless,
blows of rejection and neglect.
Her dreams whimpered and
breathed their last,
Succumbed to the injuries
inflicted on her heart.
I can hear her whimpering,
it whispers his name, like a prayer,
And her wistful cries resound
in the cemetery's morbid air.
Sulekha aka Lucky
She cremated her dreams today,
The tombstone reads,
"Here lie the misbegotten misadventures,
she called "Dreams",
they lie buried under six feet of,
Shattered hopes, spurned emotions,
crushed feelings and unrequited love."
Her yearning lies scattered on the ground,
mixed with the loose soil and the blossoms,
shards of her longing are sprinkled,
beside her grave on the bed of roses.
She had sacrificed her sanity for love,
and she was punished for this sacrilege.
No it wasn't God, who did it,
It was HE, his indifference that did her in.
The fabric of her make-believe world was,
slashed by the cruel blade of harsh reality.
She had solicited his affections,
had dived head-on in the whirlpool of love,
She was punished for her willful conduct,
her dreams slaughtered by the thoughtless,
blows of rejection and neglect.
Her dreams whimpered and
breathed their last,
Succumbed to the injuries
inflicted on her heart.
I can hear her whimpering,
it whispers his name, like a prayer,
And her wistful cries resound
in the cemetery's morbid air.
Sulekha aka Lucky
Fallacy
Fallacy
I see you
In,
my alarm every morning,
My morning cup of tea,
The newspaper, the news,
The Call of the vendor in the street.
The neighbour's creaking door,
Paintings on the wall,
In the tiles on my floor,
And everywhere I see.
In the clear morning sky,
and the haze,
in the drizzle of the rain,
the cool breeze caressing me,
in the swaying branches,
outside my window pane.
In the washed clothes drying in the sun,
the pile of cushions on the bed.
the dining table, kitchen platform,
Even on the bedspread.
In the grey haired lady's cough,
The sweat on the washer man’s shirt.
The car's steering wheel and horn,
the traffic signal, also
in the cop's khaki uniform.
I see you,
In the,
sprinklers in the park,
branches of the trees and
posters on the walls,
crowds in the malls.
tolling of the bells,
in the temple,
the chants of the bhajans,
in the hallowed halls.
I don't have to look too far
to see you,
because you live in my heart.
I look at me and I see you,
So Sorry honey,
I don't MISS YOU.
Sulekha aka Lucky
I see you
In,
my alarm every morning,
My morning cup of tea,
The newspaper, the news,
The Call of the vendor in the street.
The neighbour's creaking door,
Paintings on the wall,
In the tiles on my floor,
And everywhere I see.
In the clear morning sky,
and the haze,
in the drizzle of the rain,
the cool breeze caressing me,
in the swaying branches,
outside my window pane.
In the washed clothes drying in the sun,
the pile of cushions on the bed.
the dining table, kitchen platform,
Even on the bedspread.
In the grey haired lady's cough,
The sweat on the washer man’s shirt.
The car's steering wheel and horn,
the traffic signal, also
in the cop's khaki uniform.
I see you,
In the,
sprinklers in the park,
branches of the trees and
posters on the walls,
crowds in the malls.
tolling of the bells,
in the temple,
the chants of the bhajans,
in the hallowed halls.
I don't have to look too far
to see you,
because you live in my heart.
I look at me and I see you,
So Sorry honey,
I don't MISS YOU.
Sulekha aka Lucky
Gluttonous Nursery Rhyme of my life.....
If you are happy and you know it,
eat something sweet.
If you are sad and you know it,
eat something savoury.
If you are angry and you know it,
eat something spicy.
If you are ecstatic and you know it,
eat one of each kind.
If you are scared and you know it,
eat something comforting,like fudge,
If you are excited and you know it,
eat some delicious icecream.
If you are anxious and you know it,
eat some fries,washed down with coke.
If you are tired and you know it,
eat lots of besan laddoos.
If you are heartbroken and you know it,
eat chocolates,lots of them.
If you are in love and you know it,
eat pastries and cheesecake.
If you are grieving and you know it,
eat anything.
If you are feeling alright and you know it,
eat everything.
When you eat everything and you know it,
your figure will surely show it,
thus ends the gluttonous rhyme of my life.
Sulekha aka Lucky
eat something sweet.
If you are sad and you know it,
eat something savoury.
If you are angry and you know it,
eat something spicy.
If you are ecstatic and you know it,
eat one of each kind.
If you are scared and you know it,
eat something comforting,like fudge,
If you are excited and you know it,
eat some delicious icecream.
If you are anxious and you know it,
eat some fries,washed down with coke.
If you are tired and you know it,
eat lots of besan laddoos.
If you are heartbroken and you know it,
eat chocolates,lots of them.
If you are in love and you know it,
eat pastries and cheesecake.
If you are grieving and you know it,
eat anything.
If you are feeling alright and you know it,
eat everything.
When you eat everything and you know it,
your figure will surely show it,
thus ends the gluttonous rhyme of my life.
Sulekha aka Lucky
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
La-La Land
La-La Land
I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living; it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities. ~
Theodore Geisel
Living in the dream world is best way to enjoy life, its rent free, pollution free and disease free. By disease, I mean all kinds of ailments, of the body and those of the soul as well. When you are in your fantasy land, everything looks great, you look great, you have great friends, and your life is perfect. Never do you feel or look fat, your clothes are always ironed, branded and fit to perfection. The beauty parlors don’t exist in fantasy land because you are eternally beautiful here. Your hair doesn’t turn grey and you never need a root touch-up. Goodbye waxing, threading, facial etc.
There is no pain, hurt or malice here, no crime and no punishment. The lawyers have no business here too, like the Doctors and the beauticians. You just have rows and rows of lovely houses with their picket fences and pretty lawns, filled with a profusion of colorful blossoms. Your children don’t talk back and are always home before the curfew, they get top grades too. Your husband /Wife, compliment you for every little thing you do for him/her. Your In-laws adore you and are considerate of your feelings and emotions. Your dog poops in the toilet and doesn’t wake you up to go out at 6 in the morning, especially in the winters. He doesn’t shed all over the house and his paws get cleaned by magic. The maid is never late and she never takes leave, she is a silent worker who loves her work and keeps at it without making any demands.
You are the lead guitarist in your own band, “Ladylike”, You have your best friends playing the drums, keyboard and the electric guitar. Your album is the best album of the year and your band commutes by your own private jet. Now that’s what I call living life Queen Size. Wait there’s more; you rub shoulders with the celebrities, who treat you like celebrities. Just when you are about to christen your luxury yacht at the Monte Carlo marina in Monaco, the alarm goes off and you wake up from your lovely dream. Its 6 am in December in Delhi and the dog needs to go out, “Amount of time it takes for a dog to "do its business" is directly proportional to outside temperature plus suitability of owner's outerwear. ~Betsy Cañas Garmon”, is hundred percent true, I can vouch for it. The days Sparky drags me down the stairs without letting me wear a cap or put on my jacket, she sniffs at every questionable object and takes her own sweet time in relieving herself; meanwhile I am left shivering in the cold.
The bed tea has to be brewed, kids to be woken up and breakfast for the kids to be prepared. While you are struggling to do all this the door bell rings and the neighbors’ maid informs you that your maid is unwell and won’t be coming in for a couple of days. Goodbye luxury yacht, private jet, band, hello unpredictable life.
But isn’t all this drama, what makes life interesting to live, when you don’t know what’s going to happen the next minute? Each day is like Christmas and you can expect a miracle every day, isn’t it a fun way to live? Do your best and let the Universe do the rest, trust life to surprise you and it will. Enjoy life and embrace all that it brings into your heart, pleasure and pain go hand in hand. Let’s live our lives fully, with jest and vigor and promise to be happy, come- what- may. Let’s all walk in the rain…….God bless.
Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. ~Roger Miller
Sulekha Rawat
22/12/2010
I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living; it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities. ~
Theodore Geisel
Living in the dream world is best way to enjoy life, its rent free, pollution free and disease free. By disease, I mean all kinds of ailments, of the body and those of the soul as well. When you are in your fantasy land, everything looks great, you look great, you have great friends, and your life is perfect. Never do you feel or look fat, your clothes are always ironed, branded and fit to perfection. The beauty parlors don’t exist in fantasy land because you are eternally beautiful here. Your hair doesn’t turn grey and you never need a root touch-up. Goodbye waxing, threading, facial etc.
There is no pain, hurt or malice here, no crime and no punishment. The lawyers have no business here too, like the Doctors and the beauticians. You just have rows and rows of lovely houses with their picket fences and pretty lawns, filled with a profusion of colorful blossoms. Your children don’t talk back and are always home before the curfew, they get top grades too. Your husband /Wife, compliment you for every little thing you do for him/her. Your In-laws adore you and are considerate of your feelings and emotions. Your dog poops in the toilet and doesn’t wake you up to go out at 6 in the morning, especially in the winters. He doesn’t shed all over the house and his paws get cleaned by magic. The maid is never late and she never takes leave, she is a silent worker who loves her work and keeps at it without making any demands.
You are the lead guitarist in your own band, “Ladylike”, You have your best friends playing the drums, keyboard and the electric guitar. Your album is the best album of the year and your band commutes by your own private jet. Now that’s what I call living life Queen Size. Wait there’s more; you rub shoulders with the celebrities, who treat you like celebrities. Just when you are about to christen your luxury yacht at the Monte Carlo marina in Monaco, the alarm goes off and you wake up from your lovely dream. Its 6 am in December in Delhi and the dog needs to go out, “Amount of time it takes for a dog to "do its business" is directly proportional to outside temperature plus suitability of owner's outerwear. ~Betsy Cañas Garmon”, is hundred percent true, I can vouch for it. The days Sparky drags me down the stairs without letting me wear a cap or put on my jacket, she sniffs at every questionable object and takes her own sweet time in relieving herself; meanwhile I am left shivering in the cold.
The bed tea has to be brewed, kids to be woken up and breakfast for the kids to be prepared. While you are struggling to do all this the door bell rings and the neighbors’ maid informs you that your maid is unwell and won’t be coming in for a couple of days. Goodbye luxury yacht, private jet, band, hello unpredictable life.
But isn’t all this drama, what makes life interesting to live, when you don’t know what’s going to happen the next minute? Each day is like Christmas and you can expect a miracle every day, isn’t it a fun way to live? Do your best and let the Universe do the rest, trust life to surprise you and it will. Enjoy life and embrace all that it brings into your heart, pleasure and pain go hand in hand. Let’s live our lives fully, with jest and vigor and promise to be happy, come- what- may. Let’s all walk in the rain…….God bless.
Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. ~Roger Miller
Sulekha Rawat
22/12/2010
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