Unconditional
Is it a word or a sentence?
Unconditional love means to love someone,
regardless of their qualities or actions.
complete, absolute, without reservations,
That’s how love should be.
It's the only way to live.
Pure joy and ecstasy,
is what love should be,
And not a metal ball and chain,
dragging your feet.
Constricting, restraining, and binding you.
Love should be encouraging you to,
go ahead and conquer the world.
Not become an obstacle in your,
path to success.
It should silently nudge you towards,
the culmination of your dreams.
There is only one way to love,
And that's unconditionally.
Rest all is a negotiation.
If you love me, you will bring me flowers,
If you love me, take me on a cruise.
What you should be saying is,
Because I love you, I understand.
I know where you’re coming from.
I support you, in whatever you want to do,
Because I Love You.
I am letting you go,
March to your own beat.
Listen to your heart,
Do what feels right to you.
I am with you every step of the way,
I Love You, Unconditionally.
Lucky
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
A lifetime of regret
On waking up in the mornings, I feel like going back to sleep.Opening my eyes hurts my soul.I remember that He is not around anymore and I don't like this emptiness.I don't know what our connection is,He is my father and I love him,but to feel like this is akin to abandonment. He has abandoned me and left me to fend for myself.His unconditional love is something I will miss forever.He loves me in spite of all my faults and not because of anything.I have lost a staunch supporter,ardent fan,mentor and a loving Dad.
Every morning it's the same story,I open my eyes and remember Him.A load lands on my chest with a resounding thud and I am breathless. I can hear the sound of crashing waves in my ears, I can't hear myself scream.
I have a wonderful family,but he is missing from my life, I just can't come to terms with this loss.I wanted Him to be there for me forever,I know it's selfish of me but I am a spoilt brat.He spoils me with his love and unabashed adoration,his total acceptance of me ,with all my flaws.I love him and I let him down.
He was admitted in the hospital on 2nd January 2010,He had called me up from there,He had said,"My eyes are peeled to the door because I've heard that you are coming to Bombay".And what did I do,I refused,I broke his heart.On 7th Jan He was discharged from the hospital,He had called me up in the evening and told me that He was very depressed, stressed,tired and weak.I didn't listen to what he was trying to tell me.I was too wrapped up in my upcoming Birthday celebrations.
On 8th January 2010 morning at 6am He called me up and wished me a happy birthday.He sounded upbeat,positive,happy and cheerful.we spoke at length and He told me He was felling wonderful,It was his last gift to me.He didn't want to spoil my birthday.It was an act,the same evening at 4pm He breathed his last.I let Him down,I am to blame,I broke his heart.I am guilty,I don't know what to do now.What do I do? It's too late......
Every morning it's the same story,I open my eyes and remember Him.A load lands on my chest with a resounding thud and I am breathless. I can hear the sound of crashing waves in my ears, I can't hear myself scream.
I have a wonderful family,but he is missing from my life, I just can't come to terms with this loss.I wanted Him to be there for me forever,I know it's selfish of me but I am a spoilt brat.He spoils me with his love and unabashed adoration,his total acceptance of me ,with all my flaws.I love him and I let him down.
He was admitted in the hospital on 2nd January 2010,He had called me up from there,He had said,"My eyes are peeled to the door because I've heard that you are coming to Bombay".And what did I do,I refused,I broke his heart.On 7th Jan He was discharged from the hospital,He had called me up in the evening and told me that He was very depressed, stressed,tired and weak.I didn't listen to what he was trying to tell me.I was too wrapped up in my upcoming Birthday celebrations.
On 8th January 2010 morning at 6am He called me up and wished me a happy birthday.He sounded upbeat,positive,happy and cheerful.we spoke at length and He told me He was felling wonderful,It was his last gift to me.He didn't want to spoil my birthday.It was an act,the same evening at 4pm He breathed his last.I let Him down,I am to blame,I broke his heart.I am guilty,I don't know what to do now.What do I do? It's too late......
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Some days are easy.....
some days are easy some aren't easy at all.
I try and smile,live a normal life,
but once in a while,I slip and fall.
Suddenly it hits me that you are no more,
you have left us and gone away.
This pain is so acute that I literally sway.
I reel with shock and disbelief,
at my easy acceptance of this great tragedy.
How come I survived,your going away?
Why didn't my heart stop beating,
when your's did?
Didn't I love you enough?
My love for you was all talk and no substance.
I am a hypocrite,
If I loved you enough,
I would have gone away with you.
I should have left too.
My friends say, you are watching over us,
are saddened by our grief.
and want us to be happy instead,
but isn't it asking for too much?
How can we smile,laugh n play?
when you have left us and gone away.
Why did you leave?
Why couldn't you stay?
I miss you every single day.
Lucky
I try and smile,live a normal life,
but once in a while,I slip and fall.
Suddenly it hits me that you are no more,
you have left us and gone away.
This pain is so acute that I literally sway.
I reel with shock and disbelief,
at my easy acceptance of this great tragedy.
How come I survived,your going away?
Why didn't my heart stop beating,
when your's did?
Didn't I love you enough?
My love for you was all talk and no substance.
I am a hypocrite,
If I loved you enough,
I would have gone away with you.
I should have left too.
My friends say, you are watching over us,
are saddened by our grief.
and want us to be happy instead,
but isn't it asking for too much?
How can we smile,laugh n play?
when you have left us and gone away.
Why did you leave?
Why couldn't you stay?
I miss you every single day.
Lucky
Last request
Remember me with a smile,after I am long gone.
When the sun has set, when the night has fallen,
maybe you can sometimes let the teardrops fall,
but only sometimes and that too not for long,
I want you to be happy and remember the good times,
think about me with a smile on your lips,
and please , please never be sad.
It will make me cry, wherever I am.
Don't hurt me by hurting yourself,
I'll feel your pain, wherever I am.
So what if I had to go away,
I am there with you in spirit.
Though I have left, I am never gone.
How can I? when my heart is with you.
You have my undying and eternal love,
to see you through all that life throws at you.
You are ,
my undreamt dream,
my unsung song,
my unlived life,
my unfinished thought,
my unglued emotion,
my uncrying tear,
my everything.
I love you, dear.
Lucky
When the sun has set, when the night has fallen,
maybe you can sometimes let the teardrops fall,
but only sometimes and that too not for long,
I want you to be happy and remember the good times,
think about me with a smile on your lips,
and please , please never be sad.
It will make me cry, wherever I am.
Don't hurt me by hurting yourself,
I'll feel your pain, wherever I am.
So what if I had to go away,
I am there with you in spirit.
Though I have left, I am never gone.
How can I? when my heart is with you.
You have my undying and eternal love,
to see you through all that life throws at you.
You are ,
my undreamt dream,
my unsung song,
my unlived life,
my unfinished thought,
my unglued emotion,
my uncrying tear,
my everything.
I love you, dear.
Lucky
Sunflower
The sunflower lived for the sun,
one look at the ball of fire and,
the flower opened up it's heart,
to embrace the warm rays ,
from it's lover ,the Sun.
Everyday, for as long as it lived,
the sunflower longed to be in the vicinity,
of it's heartthrob, the Sun.
It followed him throughout the day.
from East to West, it would sway,
as the Sun set, the flower would droop,
with dejection and heartbreak,
longing for the next day.
when it could blossom again.
Sun, mighty, powerful Sun,
unaware of the devotion of the flower,
decided to play hooky for a few days.
It didn't show up, it stayed away.
The sunflower clutched it's aching heart and
fell to the ground, with a moan and a sigh,
Unseeing eyes kept staring at the sky.
Lucky
one look at the ball of fire and,
the flower opened up it's heart,
to embrace the warm rays ,
from it's lover ,the Sun.
Everyday, for as long as it lived,
the sunflower longed to be in the vicinity,
of it's heartthrob, the Sun.
It followed him throughout the day.
from East to West, it would sway,
as the Sun set, the flower would droop,
with dejection and heartbreak,
longing for the next day.
when it could blossom again.
Sun, mighty, powerful Sun,
unaware of the devotion of the flower,
decided to play hooky for a few days.
It didn't show up, it stayed away.
The sunflower clutched it's aching heart and
fell to the ground, with a moan and a sigh,
Unseeing eyes kept staring at the sky.
Lucky
Until I get there
Today is 8th Dec 2010, it’s been exactly eleven months since you left me and went away, I still miss you. I had thought that I had healed, but was sadly mistaken. There hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t missed your loving presence in my life. Your memories keep me strong, your presence in my heart gives me hope to carry on and face anything in this world. Some days I fail to live up to your expectations and breakdown, can’t seem to go on without you.
I miss you so much dad. I haven’t forgotten you and never will, but what scares me is that I have learn t to live without you. Some days I am so happy, I sing and dance, it’s a betrayal of sorts. It’s at such moments that I question myself, I start doubting my love for you. I had thought I would die without you in my life, I didn’t, and I even started living normally again, how could I?
This morning I woke up early and glanced at my bedside table, there you were, smiling at me and blessing me. Your total acceptance of my behaviour undid me and I broke down. You are the reason I am surviving, you are guiding me, showing me the way to live happily. You chase away the fears and insecurities from my life and instead fill it with optimism, happiness and love. You haven’t gone away from my life but have become one with it and are always around, with me. Maybe that is why I don’t feel so sad most of the time, but some days I want to hug you and feel your arms around me, miss the cocoon of your sweet and unconditional love. Want your hand on my head, blessing me, to see your happy smile, hear you call out my name,” Lucks, my dear Looksy”.
Miss all this and more, want to hear you say,” I love you.” I know you will whisper it in my ear, but is it enough? Miss everything about you, I love you and always will. I had wanted to close my eyes and never open them again, had willed my heart to stop beating, when your heart had stopped. But you had given me hope and the strength to continue living. You always had my best interests at heart and were looking out for me even then. Sai babaji, please look after my dad and keep him safe until I get there.
Lucks
I miss you so much dad. I haven’t forgotten you and never will, but what scares me is that I have learn t to live without you. Some days I am so happy, I sing and dance, it’s a betrayal of sorts. It’s at such moments that I question myself, I start doubting my love for you. I had thought I would die without you in my life, I didn’t, and I even started living normally again, how could I?
This morning I woke up early and glanced at my bedside table, there you were, smiling at me and blessing me. Your total acceptance of my behaviour undid me and I broke down. You are the reason I am surviving, you are guiding me, showing me the way to live happily. You chase away the fears and insecurities from my life and instead fill it with optimism, happiness and love. You haven’t gone away from my life but have become one with it and are always around, with me. Maybe that is why I don’t feel so sad most of the time, but some days I want to hug you and feel your arms around me, miss the cocoon of your sweet and unconditional love. Want your hand on my head, blessing me, to see your happy smile, hear you call out my name,” Lucks, my dear Looksy”.
Miss all this and more, want to hear you say,” I love you.” I know you will whisper it in my ear, but is it enough? Miss everything about you, I love you and always will. I had wanted to close my eyes and never open them again, had willed my heart to stop beating, when your heart had stopped. But you had given me hope and the strength to continue living. You always had my best interests at heart and were looking out for me even then. Sai babaji, please look after my dad and keep him safe until I get there.
Lucks
Waiting
Waiting....
Unseeing eyes refusing to close,
even as the world tried its best.
From dawn to dusk, they stayed wide open,
vacantly staring into space.
slowly, a crowd gathered around the man,
who wouldn't close his eyes.
And bystanders whispered in hushed tones,
he looks like a devil in disguise.
Why are his eyes still open?
Why won't he close them?, they said.
Why does he stare so greedily,
Why doesn't he rest, now that he is dead?
He was waiting for his love, you see.
A little voice gently spoke.
And though she never did show up,
he never really lost hope.
His eyes are still open,
Coz he’s waiting to see her, just once again.
And though his heart has stopped beating,
his soul still willfully remains.
Lucks aka Sulekha
Unseeing eyes refusing to close,
even as the world tried its best.
From dawn to dusk, they stayed wide open,
vacantly staring into space.
slowly, a crowd gathered around the man,
who wouldn't close his eyes.
And bystanders whispered in hushed tones,
he looks like a devil in disguise.
Why are his eyes still open?
Why won't he close them?, they said.
Why does he stare so greedily,
Why doesn't he rest, now that he is dead?
He was waiting for his love, you see.
A little voice gently spoke.
And though she never did show up,
he never really lost hope.
His eyes are still open,
Coz he’s waiting to see her, just once again.
And though his heart has stopped beating,
his soul still willfully remains.
Lucks aka Sulekha
Cemetery
Cemetery
She cremated her dreams today,
The tombstone reads,
"Here lie the misbegotten misadventures,
she called "Dreams",
they lie buried under six feet of,
Shattered hopes, spurned emotions,
crushed feelings and unrequited love."
Her yearning lies scattered on the ground,
mixed with the loose soil and the blossoms,
shards of her longing are sprinkled,
beside her grave on the bed of roses.
She had sacrificed her sanity for love,
and she was punished for this sacrilege.
No it wasn't God, who did it,
It was HE, his indifference that did her in.
The fabric of her make-believe world was,
slashed by the cruel blade of harsh reality.
She had solicited his affections,
had dived head-on in the whirlpool of love,
She was punished for her willful conduct,
her dreams slaughtered by the thoughtless,
blows of rejection and neglect.
Her dreams whimpered and
breathed their last,
Succumbed to the injuries
inflicted on her heart.
I can hear her whimpering,
it whispers his name, like a prayer,
And her wistful cries resound
in the cemetery's morbid air.
Sulekha aka Lucky
She cremated her dreams today,
The tombstone reads,
"Here lie the misbegotten misadventures,
she called "Dreams",
they lie buried under six feet of,
Shattered hopes, spurned emotions,
crushed feelings and unrequited love."
Her yearning lies scattered on the ground,
mixed with the loose soil and the blossoms,
shards of her longing are sprinkled,
beside her grave on the bed of roses.
She had sacrificed her sanity for love,
and she was punished for this sacrilege.
No it wasn't God, who did it,
It was HE, his indifference that did her in.
The fabric of her make-believe world was,
slashed by the cruel blade of harsh reality.
She had solicited his affections,
had dived head-on in the whirlpool of love,
She was punished for her willful conduct,
her dreams slaughtered by the thoughtless,
blows of rejection and neglect.
Her dreams whimpered and
breathed their last,
Succumbed to the injuries
inflicted on her heart.
I can hear her whimpering,
it whispers his name, like a prayer,
And her wistful cries resound
in the cemetery's morbid air.
Sulekha aka Lucky
Fallacy
Fallacy
I see you
In,
my alarm every morning,
My morning cup of tea,
The newspaper, the news,
The Call of the vendor in the street.
The neighbour's creaking door,
Paintings on the wall,
In the tiles on my floor,
And everywhere I see.
In the clear morning sky,
and the haze,
in the drizzle of the rain,
the cool breeze caressing me,
in the swaying branches,
outside my window pane.
In the washed clothes drying in the sun,
the pile of cushions on the bed.
the dining table, kitchen platform,
Even on the bedspread.
In the grey haired lady's cough,
The sweat on the washer man’s shirt.
The car's steering wheel and horn,
the traffic signal, also
in the cop's khaki uniform.
I see you,
In the,
sprinklers in the park,
branches of the trees and
posters on the walls,
crowds in the malls.
tolling of the bells,
in the temple,
the chants of the bhajans,
in the hallowed halls.
I don't have to look too far
to see you,
because you live in my heart.
I look at me and I see you,
So Sorry honey,
I don't MISS YOU.
Sulekha aka Lucky
I see you
In,
my alarm every morning,
My morning cup of tea,
The newspaper, the news,
The Call of the vendor in the street.
The neighbour's creaking door,
Paintings on the wall,
In the tiles on my floor,
And everywhere I see.
In the clear morning sky,
and the haze,
in the drizzle of the rain,
the cool breeze caressing me,
in the swaying branches,
outside my window pane.
In the washed clothes drying in the sun,
the pile of cushions on the bed.
the dining table, kitchen platform,
Even on the bedspread.
In the grey haired lady's cough,
The sweat on the washer man’s shirt.
The car's steering wheel and horn,
the traffic signal, also
in the cop's khaki uniform.
I see you,
In the,
sprinklers in the park,
branches of the trees and
posters on the walls,
crowds in the malls.
tolling of the bells,
in the temple,
the chants of the bhajans,
in the hallowed halls.
I don't have to look too far
to see you,
because you live in my heart.
I look at me and I see you,
So Sorry honey,
I don't MISS YOU.
Sulekha aka Lucky
Gluttonous Nursery Rhyme of my life.....
If you are happy and you know it,
eat something sweet.
If you are sad and you know it,
eat something savoury.
If you are angry and you know it,
eat something spicy.
If you are ecstatic and you know it,
eat one of each kind.
If you are scared and you know it,
eat something comforting,like fudge,
If you are excited and you know it,
eat some delicious icecream.
If you are anxious and you know it,
eat some fries,washed down with coke.
If you are tired and you know it,
eat lots of besan laddoos.
If you are heartbroken and you know it,
eat chocolates,lots of them.
If you are in love and you know it,
eat pastries and cheesecake.
If you are grieving and you know it,
eat anything.
If you are feeling alright and you know it,
eat everything.
When you eat everything and you know it,
your figure will surely show it,
thus ends the gluttonous rhyme of my life.
Sulekha aka Lucky
eat something sweet.
If you are sad and you know it,
eat something savoury.
If you are angry and you know it,
eat something spicy.
If you are ecstatic and you know it,
eat one of each kind.
If you are scared and you know it,
eat something comforting,like fudge,
If you are excited and you know it,
eat some delicious icecream.
If you are anxious and you know it,
eat some fries,washed down with coke.
If you are tired and you know it,
eat lots of besan laddoos.
If you are heartbroken and you know it,
eat chocolates,lots of them.
If you are in love and you know it,
eat pastries and cheesecake.
If you are grieving and you know it,
eat anything.
If you are feeling alright and you know it,
eat everything.
When you eat everything and you know it,
your figure will surely show it,
thus ends the gluttonous rhyme of my life.
Sulekha aka Lucky
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
La-La Land
La-La Land
I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living; it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities. ~
Theodore Geisel
Living in the dream world is best way to enjoy life, its rent free, pollution free and disease free. By disease, I mean all kinds of ailments, of the body and those of the soul as well. When you are in your fantasy land, everything looks great, you look great, you have great friends, and your life is perfect. Never do you feel or look fat, your clothes are always ironed, branded and fit to perfection. The beauty parlors don’t exist in fantasy land because you are eternally beautiful here. Your hair doesn’t turn grey and you never need a root touch-up. Goodbye waxing, threading, facial etc.
There is no pain, hurt or malice here, no crime and no punishment. The lawyers have no business here too, like the Doctors and the beauticians. You just have rows and rows of lovely houses with their picket fences and pretty lawns, filled with a profusion of colorful blossoms. Your children don’t talk back and are always home before the curfew, they get top grades too. Your husband /Wife, compliment you for every little thing you do for him/her. Your In-laws adore you and are considerate of your feelings and emotions. Your dog poops in the toilet and doesn’t wake you up to go out at 6 in the morning, especially in the winters. He doesn’t shed all over the house and his paws get cleaned by magic. The maid is never late and she never takes leave, she is a silent worker who loves her work and keeps at it without making any demands.
You are the lead guitarist in your own band, “Ladylike”, You have your best friends playing the drums, keyboard and the electric guitar. Your album is the best album of the year and your band commutes by your own private jet. Now that’s what I call living life Queen Size. Wait there’s more; you rub shoulders with the celebrities, who treat you like celebrities. Just when you are about to christen your luxury yacht at the Monte Carlo marina in Monaco, the alarm goes off and you wake up from your lovely dream. Its 6 am in December in Delhi and the dog needs to go out, “Amount of time it takes for a dog to "do its business" is directly proportional to outside temperature plus suitability of owner's outerwear. ~Betsy Cañas Garmon”, is hundred percent true, I can vouch for it. The days Sparky drags me down the stairs without letting me wear a cap or put on my jacket, she sniffs at every questionable object and takes her own sweet time in relieving herself; meanwhile I am left shivering in the cold.
The bed tea has to be brewed, kids to be woken up and breakfast for the kids to be prepared. While you are struggling to do all this the door bell rings and the neighbors’ maid informs you that your maid is unwell and won’t be coming in for a couple of days. Goodbye luxury yacht, private jet, band, hello unpredictable life.
But isn’t all this drama, what makes life interesting to live, when you don’t know what’s going to happen the next minute? Each day is like Christmas and you can expect a miracle every day, isn’t it a fun way to live? Do your best and let the Universe do the rest, trust life to surprise you and it will. Enjoy life and embrace all that it brings into your heart, pleasure and pain go hand in hand. Let’s live our lives fully, with jest and vigor and promise to be happy, come- what- may. Let’s all walk in the rain…….God bless.
Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. ~Roger Miller
Sulekha Rawat
22/12/2010
I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living; it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities. ~
Theodore Geisel
Living in the dream world is best way to enjoy life, its rent free, pollution free and disease free. By disease, I mean all kinds of ailments, of the body and those of the soul as well. When you are in your fantasy land, everything looks great, you look great, you have great friends, and your life is perfect. Never do you feel or look fat, your clothes are always ironed, branded and fit to perfection. The beauty parlors don’t exist in fantasy land because you are eternally beautiful here. Your hair doesn’t turn grey and you never need a root touch-up. Goodbye waxing, threading, facial etc.
There is no pain, hurt or malice here, no crime and no punishment. The lawyers have no business here too, like the Doctors and the beauticians. You just have rows and rows of lovely houses with their picket fences and pretty lawns, filled with a profusion of colorful blossoms. Your children don’t talk back and are always home before the curfew, they get top grades too. Your husband /Wife, compliment you for every little thing you do for him/her. Your In-laws adore you and are considerate of your feelings and emotions. Your dog poops in the toilet and doesn’t wake you up to go out at 6 in the morning, especially in the winters. He doesn’t shed all over the house and his paws get cleaned by magic. The maid is never late and she never takes leave, she is a silent worker who loves her work and keeps at it without making any demands.
You are the lead guitarist in your own band, “Ladylike”, You have your best friends playing the drums, keyboard and the electric guitar. Your album is the best album of the year and your band commutes by your own private jet. Now that’s what I call living life Queen Size. Wait there’s more; you rub shoulders with the celebrities, who treat you like celebrities. Just when you are about to christen your luxury yacht at the Monte Carlo marina in Monaco, the alarm goes off and you wake up from your lovely dream. Its 6 am in December in Delhi and the dog needs to go out, “Amount of time it takes for a dog to "do its business" is directly proportional to outside temperature plus suitability of owner's outerwear. ~Betsy Cañas Garmon”, is hundred percent true, I can vouch for it. The days Sparky drags me down the stairs without letting me wear a cap or put on my jacket, she sniffs at every questionable object and takes her own sweet time in relieving herself; meanwhile I am left shivering in the cold.
The bed tea has to be brewed, kids to be woken up and breakfast for the kids to be prepared. While you are struggling to do all this the door bell rings and the neighbors’ maid informs you that your maid is unwell and won’t be coming in for a couple of days. Goodbye luxury yacht, private jet, band, hello unpredictable life.
But isn’t all this drama, what makes life interesting to live, when you don’t know what’s going to happen the next minute? Each day is like Christmas and you can expect a miracle every day, isn’t it a fun way to live? Do your best and let the Universe do the rest, trust life to surprise you and it will. Enjoy life and embrace all that it brings into your heart, pleasure and pain go hand in hand. Let’s live our lives fully, with jest and vigor and promise to be happy, come- what- may. Let’s all walk in the rain…….God bless.
Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. ~Roger Miller
Sulekha Rawat
22/12/2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
He walks beside me
He walks beside me……..
I didn’t find my dad at home this time during my monthly visit to Malad. I looked everywhere for him but he wasn’t anywhere around. Where could he be? I thought to myself, and then it suddenly struck me. He lives where I do, in my city, in Noida. He walks beside me during my evening walk everyday. He waits at the park’s entrance and waves enthusiastically when he sees me approaching him. Every evening from eight to nine, is our special time. We discuss our day and whatever else is on our minds. He gives me tips on how to overcome the day to day problems and live a happy life.
His hand on my shoulder, pat on the back and his blessings make me happy and grateful for being alive and thankful for being his daughter. Dad encourages me to go the extra mile and never give up when I feel like throwing in the towel. He is there to support me and egg me on. I look forward to my evening walks and there hasn’t been a single day when he wasn’t there with me. He is the only constant in my life, from my birth and hopefully till my death. I know he will never leave me and go away because he loves me and is my most loyal and trusted dad-friend.
Although we communicate silently, sometimes I get so excited that I speak out loud and many a times, startle the people walking around. To them I am that Looney lady who talks to herself, but I don’t care a bit. Just because others can’t see him doesn’t mean he is not there. I see him, talk to him, feel his love, he lives in my heart and will always be there for me. I believe this fact and to hell with the world.
I love walking in the rain and the other day we both got thoroughly drenched while walking. We laughed a lot but completed our 30 rounds of the park. He loves the outdoors and bids me goodbye at the park’s gate, promising to be back the next day.
I didn’t want to hurt my family members’ feelings by informing them that dad no longer lives in Malad but has shifted to Noida, to be with me. Maybe because he knew I needed his support more than the others did? Or maybe because he loves me the most. After all I am my daddy’s favourite girl.
If you really want something, you can get it. You just have to wish for it with all you got. My wish has come true; my dad is always with me.
I didn’t find my dad at home this time during my monthly visit to Malad. I looked everywhere for him but he wasn’t anywhere around. Where could he be? I thought to myself, and then it suddenly struck me. He lives where I do, in my city, in Noida. He walks beside me during my evening walk everyday. He waits at the park’s entrance and waves enthusiastically when he sees me approaching him. Every evening from eight to nine, is our special time. We discuss our day and whatever else is on our minds. He gives me tips on how to overcome the day to day problems and live a happy life.
His hand on my shoulder, pat on the back and his blessings make me happy and grateful for being alive and thankful for being his daughter. Dad encourages me to go the extra mile and never give up when I feel like throwing in the towel. He is there to support me and egg me on. I look forward to my evening walks and there hasn’t been a single day when he wasn’t there with me. He is the only constant in my life, from my birth and hopefully till my death. I know he will never leave me and go away because he loves me and is my most loyal and trusted dad-friend.
Although we communicate silently, sometimes I get so excited that I speak out loud and many a times, startle the people walking around. To them I am that Looney lady who talks to herself, but I don’t care a bit. Just because others can’t see him doesn’t mean he is not there. I see him, talk to him, feel his love, he lives in my heart and will always be there for me. I believe this fact and to hell with the world.
I love walking in the rain and the other day we both got thoroughly drenched while walking. We laughed a lot but completed our 30 rounds of the park. He loves the outdoors and bids me goodbye at the park’s gate, promising to be back the next day.
I didn’t want to hurt my family members’ feelings by informing them that dad no longer lives in Malad but has shifted to Noida, to be with me. Maybe because he knew I needed his support more than the others did? Or maybe because he loves me the most. After all I am my daddy’s favourite girl.
If you really want something, you can get it. You just have to wish for it with all you got. My wish has come true; my dad is always with me.
My Laptop has character
My Laptop has character
It’s battered, bruised, chipped, cracked, marred, used and abused but it has a certain charm to it. It calls out to you and says, “Hey look at me, I am something special, so what if I am not perfect, there is perfection in my imperfect existence. I have lived a full and rich life, seen things others haven’t, done some pretty wild things and been in some weird locales. I have been around and then some. I am a wanderer with his heart rooted in one place called “home.”
If only I had blood running through my veins, I would dip my pen in it and write my life story but since I have just some wires and a chip in me, I will tell you my story in the only way I can, by way of text. The crack that you see near the touch pad is due to the fact that Shloka had the habit of keeping me on 24/7, 365 days a year. She never slept and never let me sleep either. She kept me up from morning to night and then again from night to morning. She ran on coffee and made me run on electricity.
My charger tanked and gave up half way through the first year of our association of 3 years. The motherboard had heated up and ignited and burnt making a crack appear on my being, my inner turmoil was exposed to the cruel eyes of the indifferent world. Each and every scratch on my body has an interesting story to tell. Now I am as good as a desktop. I can’t move around like my siblings, I have to be rooted to a spot or move around only as far as the wire lets me; I am a prisoner of my own chord and not accord. The charger is always plugged in from start to shut down, have no life without it.
I have played songs for her, millions of songs, sad, happy, and angry and some romantic ones in between the angry and happy ones. But mostly loud, rock n roll ones, she loves music and I have fallen in love with it too. Another thing she likes is playing online games with her friends. I have stayed up playing games, competing with her friends for 4 straight days. She is a piece of work, and I have been her side kick for 3 years. We make a good team. I love her energy and enthusiasm. She rocks and so do I.
Then there are her projects and assignments, the actual reason her father bought me and let her keep me. The research, downloading, printing, reprinting has driven me mad but I have become an amateur lawyer because of her. Thanks to Shloka now I know all about family law, criminal law, constitution and the various sections, the articles, the works.
She used to take me to some crazy places, the library I could deal with but the football field, the strawberry field’s rock band festival, the ice cream shop,
We made a good team, like Starsky and Hutch, Turner and Hooch. I battle scarred and she the same, both valiantly charging ahead in life, against all odds, unafraid, passionate about life and its discoveries. Looking forward to another day in the sun or rain. Unafraid, enthusiastic and happy to be alive, living every moment, enjoying it and appreciating the ironies of life.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Pay it forward
PAY IT FORWARD
North India is famous for it's cycle rickshaws, the Poor man's ride. On my husband's voluntary retirement from his job, we shifted to Noida and these three wheelers fascinated me. Since I am steering wheel challanged, These Rickshaws were a godsend for me. All of a sudden I was mobile. Whether it was a trip to Atta Market or to Indira Market, cycle rick was the way to go.P.T.A at my son's Delhi Public School or a trip to my dentist. I was on the move and boy did I feel independent and free.
My dear husband is more farsighted and wiser than me. He used to caution me against these ricks. I used to make fun of him and call him a snob. Once I persuaded him to go to The Great India Place Mall with me by cyclerickshaw. He was apprehensive and on the edge all the way and with good reason too. I learnt this lesson the hard way. He hired a driver for me. Life became easier and fun but as they say all good things come to an end. One fine day our driver had to go to his village as his mom was unwell. She had been diagnosed with cancer.
Now that I knew about the proximity of all the Malls and markets to my place, I
Wanted to visit them, driver or no driver. This is where the cycle rickshaws came into the picture. On one such ride to my dentist, a mere ten-minute ride from my house, my husband’s prediction came true. While negotiating a curve, the cycle rickshaw puller lost control of the vehicle and it toppled over to the side.
One minute I was enjoying the cool evening breeze of November and the next minute I was struggling to hold on to the side bar of the rickshaw to prevent myself from falling onto the road. Alas I was unable to anything to save myself. The right wheels went up in the air as if in slow motion. I tried to save my head and managed to land on my left elbow. Boy was it painful. The landing was soft but the entire iron frame of the rickshaw landed on my left ankle joint and almost crushed it. I remember screaming like a mad woman,” Lift the rickshaw, my foot is hurting, lift it up."
I had always hated coming to settle down in Noida as I am a true bombayite, Born and brought up in Bombay. I had lived the first 28 years of my wonderful life in this majestic city and no other place was good enough for dear old me or so I used to think until now. Within moments of my fall, I was surrounded by a number of good Samaritans. Since this was my first accident, I was in a state of utter confusion and shock. Some good men lifted the rickshaw from on top of my foot and a lady helped me pull my foot out from under it. After that I was lost. I kept on saying"Oh God'Oh no, Oh God".
Someone picked up my handbag and gave it to me. One lady asked me where I lived, I was at a loss for words, and the pain was killing me. I remembered that my brother in law is a doctor. I informed the people around me and this kind lady took my phone and dialled the number for me. Meanwhile a car was passing by and the two young men in it stopped to help. One of them came and offered to take me to the nearest hospital. I saw a lot of water near my foot and asked one lady, where has all this water come from?” She replied that it was the blood seeping out of my wounded foot. When I looked at my foot, felt lightheaded.the sight of blood does this to me and to think that my Dad had wanted me to become a doctor.
Anyway, all the wonderful, helpful people who had gathered there helped me into the car. I am a clean freak, according to my kids, true to my nature, I told the young man, whose car I was getting into,” your car will get dirty”. He said, never mind. How sweet is that! God bless him and his family. He picked up my bloody sandal and put it in the car. I am so embarrassed by my behaviour, on the way to the hospital. I couldn’t stop crying, partly due to the pain and partly due to the shock. I remember them telling me not to cry and that we were almost there. I spoke to my sister in law, who is also a doctor. She called up her husband and we all reached the hospital at the same time.
She told me not to panic and surprisingly enough I didn’t. A wheel chair was brought and I was wheeled efficiently into the minor O.T.The young man again picked my sandal and gave it to me. I didn't want to leave without knowing their names so I asked them to give me their phone number. Their names are Arjun and Shourya.When they said goodbye to me I said God bless you, and I meant it from the bottom of my heart. Those two and all the others, who helped me on that fateful day, restored my faith in humanity and redeemed Noida in my eyes. I made a promise to myself that I will also try and be of help and service to my fellow beings, like all these people had helped me. My father had a beautiful quote framed and put on the wall in our house, it read like this,” I shall pass through this way but once, So if I can be of any help or service to my fellow beings, let me not neglect it, for I shall not pass through this way again”. Amen.
Luckily there was no fracture, only cuts and bruises. I was administered a painkiller injection and tetanus injection, bandaged and sent home. Since my husband was out of station and I didn’t want to worry him, I instructed my in laws not to tell him anything. My father is not keeping the best of health so I did not inform him too. But I wanted to talk to someone who loved me and cared about what happened to me, so I called up my firebrand daughter, Shloka.I call her "Shola". She is studying in Bangalore. After telling her the whole story. I told her to keep it to herself. Maybe I was selfish to burden her with this secret but I knew she would come through. She is my tough softie, my pride and joy and my strength.
P.S. I have still not called up my saviours as I am embarrassed by my behaviour that day. I kept on crying and calling out to my mum,"Mummy"."I don't want to go to the hospital”, In Fact I remember saying something to the effect,” If I pass out on the way to the hospital, Please tell the doctor that my blood group is B rh _ive". How can I ring them up and behave like a forty four year old, when that day I behaved like a baby.
I will call them up because I am sure they must be wondering about what happened to the crazy , hysterical lady with the negative blood group.
SULEKHA
North India is famous for it's cycle rickshaws, the Poor man's ride. On my husband's voluntary retirement from his job, we shifted to Noida and these three wheelers fascinated me. Since I am steering wheel challanged, These Rickshaws were a godsend for me. All of a sudden I was mobile. Whether it was a trip to Atta Market or to Indira Market, cycle rick was the way to go.P.T.A at my son's Delhi Public School or a trip to my dentist. I was on the move and boy did I feel independent and free.
My dear husband is more farsighted and wiser than me. He used to caution me against these ricks. I used to make fun of him and call him a snob. Once I persuaded him to go to The Great India Place Mall with me by cyclerickshaw. He was apprehensive and on the edge all the way and with good reason too. I learnt this lesson the hard way. He hired a driver for me. Life became easier and fun but as they say all good things come to an end. One fine day our driver had to go to his village as his mom was unwell. She had been diagnosed with cancer.
Now that I knew about the proximity of all the Malls and markets to my place, I
Wanted to visit them, driver or no driver. This is where the cycle rickshaws came into the picture. On one such ride to my dentist, a mere ten-minute ride from my house, my husband’s prediction came true. While negotiating a curve, the cycle rickshaw puller lost control of the vehicle and it toppled over to the side.
One minute I was enjoying the cool evening breeze of November and the next minute I was struggling to hold on to the side bar of the rickshaw to prevent myself from falling onto the road. Alas I was unable to anything to save myself. The right wheels went up in the air as if in slow motion. I tried to save my head and managed to land on my left elbow. Boy was it painful. The landing was soft but the entire iron frame of the rickshaw landed on my left ankle joint and almost crushed it. I remember screaming like a mad woman,” Lift the rickshaw, my foot is hurting, lift it up."
I had always hated coming to settle down in Noida as I am a true bombayite, Born and brought up in Bombay. I had lived the first 28 years of my wonderful life in this majestic city and no other place was good enough for dear old me or so I used to think until now. Within moments of my fall, I was surrounded by a number of good Samaritans. Since this was my first accident, I was in a state of utter confusion and shock. Some good men lifted the rickshaw from on top of my foot and a lady helped me pull my foot out from under it. After that I was lost. I kept on saying"Oh God'Oh no, Oh God".
Someone picked up my handbag and gave it to me. One lady asked me where I lived, I was at a loss for words, and the pain was killing me. I remembered that my brother in law is a doctor. I informed the people around me and this kind lady took my phone and dialled the number for me. Meanwhile a car was passing by and the two young men in it stopped to help. One of them came and offered to take me to the nearest hospital. I saw a lot of water near my foot and asked one lady, where has all this water come from?” She replied that it was the blood seeping out of my wounded foot. When I looked at my foot, felt lightheaded.the sight of blood does this to me and to think that my Dad had wanted me to become a doctor.
Anyway, all the wonderful, helpful people who had gathered there helped me into the car. I am a clean freak, according to my kids, true to my nature, I told the young man, whose car I was getting into,” your car will get dirty”. He said, never mind. How sweet is that! God bless him and his family. He picked up my bloody sandal and put it in the car. I am so embarrassed by my behaviour, on the way to the hospital. I couldn’t stop crying, partly due to the pain and partly due to the shock. I remember them telling me not to cry and that we were almost there. I spoke to my sister in law, who is also a doctor. She called up her husband and we all reached the hospital at the same time.
She told me not to panic and surprisingly enough I didn’t. A wheel chair was brought and I was wheeled efficiently into the minor O.T.The young man again picked my sandal and gave it to me. I didn't want to leave without knowing their names so I asked them to give me their phone number. Their names are Arjun and Shourya.When they said goodbye to me I said God bless you, and I meant it from the bottom of my heart. Those two and all the others, who helped me on that fateful day, restored my faith in humanity and redeemed Noida in my eyes. I made a promise to myself that I will also try and be of help and service to my fellow beings, like all these people had helped me. My father had a beautiful quote framed and put on the wall in our house, it read like this,” I shall pass through this way but once, So if I can be of any help or service to my fellow beings, let me not neglect it, for I shall not pass through this way again”. Amen.
Luckily there was no fracture, only cuts and bruises. I was administered a painkiller injection and tetanus injection, bandaged and sent home. Since my husband was out of station and I didn’t want to worry him, I instructed my in laws not to tell him anything. My father is not keeping the best of health so I did not inform him too. But I wanted to talk to someone who loved me and cared about what happened to me, so I called up my firebrand daughter, Shloka.I call her "Shola". She is studying in Bangalore. After telling her the whole story. I told her to keep it to herself. Maybe I was selfish to burden her with this secret but I knew she would come through. She is my tough softie, my pride and joy and my strength.
P.S. I have still not called up my saviours as I am embarrassed by my behaviour that day. I kept on crying and calling out to my mum,"Mummy"."I don't want to go to the hospital”, In Fact I remember saying something to the effect,” If I pass out on the way to the hospital, Please tell the doctor that my blood group is B rh _ive". How can I ring them up and behave like a forty four year old, when that day I behaved like a baby.
I will call them up because I am sure they must be wondering about what happened to the crazy , hysterical lady with the negative blood group.
SULEKHA
Saturday, June 19, 2010
An ODE to Daddy dearest
Hey Grumpy, Why the long face?
Just coz I haven't wished you,
a happy father's day.
The day has just begun,
wanted to do something special,
hence the delay in calling you.
" You are my emotional awning,
keeping the negative downpour
off my being.
my marquee, my shield,
keeping all ills at bay.
Your effervescence, your indomitable will,
and beneficience has ,
brightened many a lives including mine.
DAD, you are debonair,chivalrous,
diligent,a true demigod.
wish I can be half as good as you.
will definitely try to emulate you
and all you stood for,
Poonam, naughty and Pintu join me,
and together we say,
we are lucky to have you as our father,
and we wish and pray this bond is forever.
come what may.
So what if you are not around,
I see you in the rays of the morning Sun,
the twinkling of stars,
the smile of gratitude on those faces,
which remember you with great love,
and wish you peace, where ever you are.
Happy Father's day, DAD,
proud to be your daughter.
will raise a toast to your health
and maybe get a little drunk.
Miss your warm hugs and gentle smile,
Cheers Dad, you taught us well,
haven't gone to pieces we are strong,
a slip here n there is permissible.
afterall your absence from our lives,
has left a huge void.
your love will keep us happy,
any negativity we will avoid.
Our bond will never break,
love you always and forever
my dearest darling father,
you are the best Dad,
any kid could have ever had.
Your everloving daughter
Lucks
Just coz I haven't wished you,
a happy father's day.
The day has just begun,
wanted to do something special,
hence the delay in calling you.
" You are my emotional awning,
keeping the negative downpour
off my being.
my marquee, my shield,
keeping all ills at bay.
Your effervescence, your indomitable will,
and beneficience has ,
brightened many a lives including mine.
DAD, you are debonair,chivalrous,
diligent,a true demigod.
wish I can be half as good as you.
will definitely try to emulate you
and all you stood for,
Poonam, naughty and Pintu join me,
and together we say,
we are lucky to have you as our father,
and we wish and pray this bond is forever.
come what may.
So what if you are not around,
I see you in the rays of the morning Sun,
the twinkling of stars,
the smile of gratitude on those faces,
which remember you with great love,
and wish you peace, where ever you are.
Happy Father's day, DAD,
proud to be your daughter.
will raise a toast to your health
and maybe get a little drunk.
Miss your warm hugs and gentle smile,
Cheers Dad, you taught us well,
haven't gone to pieces we are strong,
a slip here n there is permissible.
afterall your absence from our lives,
has left a huge void.
your love will keep us happy,
any negativity we will avoid.
Our bond will never break,
love you always and forever
my dearest darling father,
you are the best Dad,
any kid could have ever had.
Your everloving daughter
Lucks
Friday, June 11, 2010
The Path well trodden
Every evening, come 8.30 and I am off to the park for my hourly evening/nightly walk. One measely hour out of 24 hrs in a day dedicated to my quest for remaining healthy.As I walk around the perimeter of the kidney shaped park, I see all kinds of things and people doing these things. It takes 388 steps to go around the park once. People of all ages, shapes and size frequent my park everyday. I like to address the park as mine because I have an affinity towards it , I'll explain as we go along for a brisk walk.
The paved path is a valiant hero,It's trials and tribulations never end. Not a single inch of it is left untraveled.It's pounded upon,trodded,stamped, bruised,batterred and abused in various ways everyday but it never complains. I see young couples strolling hand in hand, senior citizens amble along discussing their daughter in laws and grand children.The serious joggers pound the path mercilessly and later sprawl on the lawn, encircled by the path, to cool down. The society romeos strut in groups of twos or threes and ogle girls in the park.
It takes me three minutes to go around the path once and while doing so I overtake an overweight, salwar -kurta clad auntyji, with her dupatta tied in a knot at her waist.She waddles as though weighed down by all the cares in the world. Another peculiar sight is an undernourished, tiny middle-aged lady,wearing a nightgown and sneakers .Black nightie and white sneakers, marching along like Jhansi ki rani.
A thin young man in his twenties, strolls on the path , with the cell phone glued to his ear, everyday. I swear his elbow is bent at an angle due to holding up the phone for long durations. Two girls walk briskly, discussing their collegues at the office, and stop mid-conversation to attend to calls or text message their friends.
As I walk around in circles for sixty minutes, I see all these sights and more. The abuse the path goes through everyday,every hour,24/7, all year round and I wonder ,what must it be thinking? Why do these people walk, run, jump,on my chest? Why don't they leave me alone? Why do they overeat and then try to lose all that extra weight by torturing me?
As I hear the path's lamentations, I feel sorry for it and try to lessen it's pain by stepping gently on it. as I walk gingerly and apologetically, I wonder at it's ability to withstand pain and his tenacity to go on.I salute it's spirit and resilience. It is indeed "The Path Well Trodden".
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Lucks Looksy
Lucks looksy
These, and a myriad of other terms of endearments were often used by my dad to address me, his daughter-Lucky.How I had loved hearing these sweet nicknames my father used to make up . when he was ecstatic on meeting me, after a long separation, he would call me looksy my sweet sweet daughter and when he was just plain happy to see me it would be lucks, never Lucky and never ever Sulekha. The first thing I notice about anyone I meet is their eyes, the
windows to the soul.No smile is complete untill it begins from the lips and ends at the eyes. My dad's eyes used to light up while smiling.I could see the shadow of his soul in them, specially when he used to greet me at the airport, a bouquet of the loveliest flowers in one hand and his heart overflowing with paternal love.Proud of his daughter, who he thought could do no wrong in life.The twinkling eyes are not around anymore and I sit and try to conjure up images of his smiling those special smiles. Always singing my praises and encouraging me to do something with my life.His one pet peeve was that I wasn't independent. He always used to tell me to take up a job and stand on my own feet.Don't waste your education, be your own person.I tried as best as I could.
The all encompassing, pure and unconditional love used to surround me like a warm fuzzy blanket, keeping out the chills and spills of the negative people.I am shivering in the cold for the past two months, missing the blankey.But I needn't do that because he is with me every step of the way. His love surrounds me, his affections embraces me and his spirit lives in my being.My dad was an avid reader and an excellent orator, he was so fond of being the focus of attention that many a times , the microphone had to be forcily taken away from him during a function. He never read from a pre written speech, it was always impromptu and straight from the heart. No wonder everybody always gave him a standing ovation and the deafening applause reverberates long after he has gone away.
These, and a myriad of other terms of endearments were often used by my dad to address me, his daughter-Lucky.How I had loved hearing these sweet nicknames my father used to make up . when he was ecstatic on meeting me, after a long separation, he would call me looksy my sweet sweet daughter and when he was just plain happy to see me it would be lucks, never Lucky and never ever Sulekha. The first thing I notice about anyone I meet is their eyes, the
windows to the soul.No smile is complete untill it begins from the lips and ends at the eyes. My dad's eyes used to light up while smiling.I could see the shadow of his soul in them, specially when he used to greet me at the airport, a bouquet of the loveliest flowers in one hand and his heart overflowing with paternal love.Proud of his daughter, who he thought could do no wrong in life.The twinkling eyes are not around anymore and I sit and try to conjure up images of his smiling those special smiles. Always singing my praises and encouraging me to do something with my life.His one pet peeve was that I wasn't independent. He always used to tell me to take up a job and stand on my own feet.Don't waste your education, be your own person.I tried as best as I could.
The all encompassing, pure and unconditional love used to surround me like a warm fuzzy blanket, keeping out the chills and spills of the negative people.I am shivering in the cold for the past two months, missing the blankey.But I needn't do that because he is with me every step of the way. His love surrounds me, his affections embraces me and his spirit lives in my being.My dad was an avid reader and an excellent orator, he was so fond of being the focus of attention that many a times , the microphone had to be forcily taken away from him during a function. He never read from a pre written speech, it was always impromptu and straight from the heart. No wonder everybody always gave him a standing ovation and the deafening applause reverberates long after he has gone away.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Lingering Scent
Clothes have a tendency to retain the perfume even after they are washed.The gown you had worn to the dance reeks of your Hugo Boss woman perfume, post wash.My son's school uniforms scream Axe doespray.My Dad's shirt has his smell,the woodsy,brylcreemy smell.I had bought a shirt for him on Nov 17th 2009,from Cottons in bandra.At that moment I hadn't known that it was going to be my last gift to him.It's a white shirt with little blue flowers,Dad had loved the shirt.On 8thJan2010,he had wanted to wear this shirt but it had gone for a wash and he couldn't wear it.I think he knew that he was leaving this world and going.My sister-in-law,Jyoti tells me that he had been very upset when he was told that the shirt was still wet.My nieces,Kavya and Diya had been playing Bob Marley's song,"Don't Worry Be Happy",On the computer and Dad was enjoying this number.All those who were lucky enough to be near him in the end, share their memories with me.I just listen and try to remember my last memory of him.
It was on Nov 22nd 2009,that I had last seen him smiling and wishing me good luck.I had been on my way to the airport to go to Delhi.I remember him giving me a sweet hug,he had lost a lot of weight but his hugs were still the same.I don't really remember whether he had come down to the car or had said goodbye from the 3rd floor.Had I known that it was the last time I would be meeting him,I would have told him that I loved him a lot and that he was my number one Man.The only person in this world who I could depend on,who would do anything for me,anything.I had so much faith in him,to get me the Moon even,had I asked for it.He was my own fairy Godfather.Now I am an ordinary person without any special powers,since he has gone away.
I have his shirt with me though and it smells of my Dad's brylcreem and deo and his special daddy smell.I can feel that he is close when I hold it in my hands.How do I bottle this fragrance?How do I keep it forever?
It was on Nov 22nd 2009,that I had last seen him smiling and wishing me good luck.I had been on my way to the airport to go to Delhi.I remember him giving me a sweet hug,he had lost a lot of weight but his hugs were still the same.I don't really remember whether he had come down to the car or had said goodbye from the 3rd floor.Had I known that it was the last time I would be meeting him,I would have told him that I loved him a lot and that he was my number one Man.The only person in this world who I could depend on,who would do anything for me,anything.I had so much faith in him,to get me the Moon even,had I asked for it.He was my own fairy Godfather.Now I am an ordinary person without any special powers,since he has gone away.
I have his shirt with me though and it smells of my Dad's brylcreem and deo and his special daddy smell.I can feel that he is close when I hold it in my hands.How do I bottle this fragrance?How do I keep it forever?
Mirage
Mirage
A tired, thirsty, and hungry traveler,
trudging through the merciless burning sand,
trying to get away from the relentless,
and scorching sun rays,
looks around in vain,for a little shade,
He just wants to get out of the heat and rest ,
he wants to get away.
Away from the hurt and the agony,
from the oozing blisters and raw and,
reddening wounds.
Away from the blinding and excruciating pain.
As he lies on the hot sand looking up at the sky,
he closes his eyes and through chapped lips,
prays for the cooling showers of rain.
Rain to wash away all the dirt and grime,
along with the pain and heartache of living,
alone and broken, hurting, burning,
feeling of inadequacy and shame.
He wants to be free of the desert.
To never be thirsty again,
to live in the cool shade of affection,
to escape the harsh, angry sun.
He sees an oasis up ahead and limps towards it,
his legs give way and he drags himself there,
oddly enough, it's still hot under the tree,
he looks around and finds that it was all in his mind.
Being out in the sun for so long had him hallucinating,
what he thought was the oasis was nothing but a mirage.
he knew that instant that it wasn't meant to be,
he had nowhere to go,
dying alone in the desert was his destiny.
A tired, thirsty, and hungry traveler,
trudging through the merciless burning sand,
trying to get away from the relentless,
and scorching sun rays,
looks around in vain,for a little shade,
He just wants to get out of the heat and rest ,
he wants to get away.
Away from the hurt and the agony,
from the oozing blisters and raw and,
reddening wounds.
Away from the blinding and excruciating pain.
As he lies on the hot sand looking up at the sky,
he closes his eyes and through chapped lips,
prays for the cooling showers of rain.
Rain to wash away all the dirt and grime,
along with the pain and heartache of living,
alone and broken, hurting, burning,
feeling of inadequacy and shame.
He wants to be free of the desert.
To never be thirsty again,
to live in the cool shade of affection,
to escape the harsh, angry sun.
He sees an oasis up ahead and limps towards it,
his legs give way and he drags himself there,
oddly enough, it's still hot under the tree,
he looks around and finds that it was all in his mind.
Being out in the sun for so long had him hallucinating,
what he thought was the oasis was nothing but a mirage.
he knew that instant that it wasn't meant to be,
he had nowhere to go,
dying alone in the desert was his destiny.
Happy Women's day - Dad
I woke up this morning and wished my father a very happy women's day.Why?, because my dad is a firm believer of the strength of women power.He has always been a champion of this cause.I was born in the early sixties, when women were still regarded as secondary to men.My grandmother had beaten her chest and bemoaned the fact that I was a girl child and a second girl of the family , at that. That instant itself my dad had named me Lucky.He had asked her to leave the hospital and never refer to me as bad luck.
I was Lucky for him and he adored me.He got a raise and a promotion coinciding with my birthday.He loved me and my sister and made sure we were not discriminated against.I remember growing up in this household, where we were treated like precious and intelligent beings, whose ideas were appreciated and welcome.We were taught to respect ourselves and others.Never to be afraid of anything or anybody.I remember my mother nearly had a heart attack when my dad told us, if someone teases you or tries to act fresh with you, punch him in the face and make sure he regrets his actions.Women are to be revered and respected.
My father could never tolerate any woman being ill-treated, so many times he came to the rescue of young women who were being harassed. My mother used to be scared going out with him, because the moment he would see someone troubling any girl, my dad would be there rescuing her and in the process make enemies.He wasn't afraid and would tell my mom, imagine this girl is your daughter ,wouldn't you want someone to help her?.This was and is my great dad.I love him so much.Today is his second month anniversary.He left us all and has gone to a much better place and I am sure he has made that place heaven just by being there. miss you and love you lots.
Your ever-loving daughter
LUCKY
I was Lucky for him and he adored me.He got a raise and a promotion coinciding with my birthday.He loved me and my sister and made sure we were not discriminated against.I remember growing up in this household, where we were treated like precious and intelligent beings, whose ideas were appreciated and welcome.We were taught to respect ourselves and others.Never to be afraid of anything or anybody.I remember my mother nearly had a heart attack when my dad told us, if someone teases you or tries to act fresh with you, punch him in the face and make sure he regrets his actions.Women are to be revered and respected.
My father could never tolerate any woman being ill-treated, so many times he came to the rescue of young women who were being harassed. My mother used to be scared going out with him, because the moment he would see someone troubling any girl, my dad would be there rescuing her and in the process make enemies.He wasn't afraid and would tell my mom, imagine this girl is your daughter ,wouldn't you want someone to help her?.This was and is my great dad.I love him so much.Today is his second month anniversary.He left us all and has gone to a much better place and I am sure he has made that place heaven just by being there. miss you and love you lots.
Your ever-loving daughter
LUCKY
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